Where Hope Grows
by Lady in the Willows
Summary: Nathan lost more than one woman he cared for during his life and as far as Shilo was concerned, she only ever had one mother. This is Olivia's story.
1. Preface: The Shot

_Disclaimer: Of course I don't own Repo! The Genetic Opera. I wouldn't be writing this if I did._

_Author's Note: Singing will be in italics. This is probably a disaster but when a plot bothers you for weeks, you just have to give in._

**Where Hope Grows**

Preface

I know dead when I see dead. Mag, the once vibrant soprano, was impaled on the fence that had been meant to serve as charming scenery. The announcer said it was part of the show. He was lying.

I know dead when I see dead. There was blood staining the false snow, pooling at the singer's feet. The scene was beautifully macabre and that part of me that enjoys such things appreciated it. I studied the feathers of her costume, brushing against her deathly still legs. It occurred to me then that she had been a caged bird and this was the only way she would ever be free. I began to leave.

_"Stay tuned, folks. You don't want to move, folks, cause there's more excitement coming." _I ignored the voice of Rotti Largo at my back. If his idea of excitement was a dead body, then all I had to do was walk through a graveyard to have my fill of such excitement. _"As an encore, Geneco will cure a very sick and needy young girl_. _She's been caged up like a monster by her overbearing father."_ I froze. At his words, I saw flashes of people I knew. People I'd left. A slender girl-child with all the potential in the world smiled in my memories. A man whose face grew more exhausted by the day reached out to touch my shoulder, green eyes unreadable.

_"I remember," _came my broken whisper.

I was afraid to turn around and watch the curtain, afraid to wait with the rest of the chattering, brainless crowd. I should have left. I wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place. It would be right if I left.

The curtain opened. Largo began talking but the words didn't reach me. I only saw the girl, so pale and dressed in black. "Shilo?" Slowly, I approached the stage. No one noticed me. They were too engrossed in the live entertainment to care about a cloaked woman moving in the shadows. They even began to jump up and shout encouragement, jeering at the man prostrate on the ground. The man all in black, to match his daughter, whose face was a study in pain begged for a reprieve.

_"Tell her! Tell her!"_

_"Someone tell me what is going on!"_

_"No more!" _

"Nathan." I tasted salt on my lips as I said his name. With a shaky hand I touched my left cheek. Damp tears greeted me. I hadn't even realized I was crying. It had been six months since I'd heard his voice or seen his face. And now to see him like this, to see Shilo being taunted and prodded in front of an audience… Why wouldn't I cry?

_"He's poisoned all your medicine."_ My gasp was among those of the shocked crowd. But then, I knew the man. The action made sense. She'd been so eager to get outside when I knew her. Without a valid reason, Nathan never would have been able to hold onto her.

"I can't breathe," Shilo whimpered. My eyes snapped to her. She was gasping, a look of fear splashed across her face.

"This will pass," Rotti told her and I almost believed the tenderness in his voice. "You've got to fight through it." Shilo began to crumple and I… I couldn't stand it. With a snap, I pulled off the weight of my cloak.

"_Someone please, please help my daughter." _I began to run forward. _"It's my medicine. I'm the cause of all your sickness." _

"Shilo!" I shouted out as I vaulted onto the stage. There was a moment before she passed out when our eyes met. The hope I saw in her dark orbs broke my heart.

"Livvy?" Then she fell into the blood.

"Shilo!"

"Olivia, don't!"

"Take her down," Rotti snarled. I didn't need to see the expressionless bodyguard reach for her gun. I didn't need to hear the shot. I knew through Nathan's scream and the pain of a bullet ripping into me that I'd done my last stupid thing. My knees gave out. I fell next to Shilo, reaching out my hand to touch her fingers. Blood pooled beneath me.

"Olivia, look at me! Olivia!"

"You've been keeping secrets, Nathan. Who's the peach?" My heartbeat slowed. I stared at nothing. Before I closed my eyes, I felt Shilo's fingers twitch beneath mine. I let out a quiet sigh.

There were worse ways to die.


	2. Flying Rabbits

_Author's Note_: _We've officially switched from first person POV to third. Repo! quotes will be used to separate various POVs and the quote itself may or may not be a hint about what's going on. Subtlety isn't my strength, generally. Enjoy!_

Chapter One

"_Daddy's girl's a fucking monster."_

Shilo Wallace was alone in her room, plunking carelessly at a piano, when she officially became a woman. She'd noticed something sticky and damp between her thighs. When she'd looked, the fresh blood on her porcelain skin had screamed, "Time to grow up, Shilo!" Or at least that was the impression she'd received.

The bleeding wasn't a big shock to her. Her dad, who was nothing if not thorough, had home schooled her and they'd covered menstruation and reproduction in her biology 'class'. Shilo knew why she was bleeding and she had the supplies to take care of it. The blood wasn't what bothered her. At sixteen, she'd begun to wonder if she'd ever really become a woman or if her blood disease would somehow steal that from her, too. Now it had happened without anyone around who would really care except her. Her dad was working and her mother was dead. She didn't have friends. There was just Shilo, the blood and a house that was beginning to feel smaller and smaller all the time.

Hours after having made her discovery, Shilo was suffering from cramps and the feeling that she had no future. She was a woman who couldn't have the opportunity to be a woman. Her disease kept her locked in the house, unable to go outside. She was bald and skinny. There were no beautiful curves or the full breasts a pretty woman was supposed to have. She was just a stick person, not real at all.

Her mood was decidedly bad and when she began staring at her childish stuffed animals, an idea struck her that filled Shilo with a vicious satisfaction. She gathered a few stuffed animals and one of her newer paper doll books. Dumping them all on her window seat, she stepped up and tugged open her window. The sky was as gray as it always was, the world outside her window buzzing with noise she'd never be a part of. Shilo gritted her teeth, reached for the gray rabbit she'd loved since she was five and hurled it out the window as hard as she could. The cramps didn't go away but Shilo suddenly felt better. A little frustration leaked out and she grinned. This was fun. She grabbed the paper doll book and threw it out next. This time the result was different. Almost immediately the sound of someone cursing reached her window.

"What the fucking hell?" Shilo's eyes widened. She'd heard foul language before but never in person. Whoever it was promptly spotted her standing at the window. From that distance it looked like a woman, wearing a long dark coat. "Hey, kid!" she shouted. "Why don't you throw you stuff in the trash like normal people?"

"_It's what you need to change inside."_

Olivia Stewart was in a mood she couldn't even define. There was no happiness or sadness. The last twenty-nine years of her life seemed to have passed in a blink and now she had no real idea where she was headed, literally and metaphorically. She walked past rundown homes and graveyards, boots crunching against debris left on the streets. Olivia kept her head down. It was the best way to be left alone in this town, keeping the head down. Although perhaps a confrontation would put her in a better frame of mind. There was nothing like a good fistfight.

She paused in her pointless journey. Thoughts like that were what had her in such an ambiguous mood. She felt torn in too many directions, the majority of them violent. It had become too easy to find shelter in her work rather than to seek an answer. Of course, she wasn't working now and she hadn't found any answers. All she knew was that she needed something outside of the morgue she called home. She needed something a little normal. Olivia didn't associate with people much and she was beginning to think that might be part of the problem. In fact, the only person she actually talked to was a drug dealer who spent most of his time with the dead. But who was she to complain? Olivia lived with the dead.

A stuffed rabbit flew over her head and landed on the pavement before her. Olivia blinked a few times. That certainly hadn't been expected. It wasn't often that rabbits fell from the sky. She kneeled down to pick up the rabbit and something hard hit her in the back of the head. Olivia swore loudly, reaching to feel her abused skull. While she searched for damage she looked to see what had hit her. A thick book of paper dolls was the guilty party, lying next to her on the street. She stood up angrily, aiming a glare at the only window of the house behind her that was open. It was one of the old brick houses that had survived the rest of the modern city. Clearly it hadn't survived easily, though, if the scarred bricks and rather sketchy shingles said anything.

"Hey, kid!" Olivia shouted at the girl standing at her window, clinging to the pointed black railing that looked like the only thing that was keeping her from plummeting to the ground. "Why don't you throw your stuff in the trash like normal people?"

"I'm not a kid!" she shouted back. "And I'm not normal!"

"Clearly!" Olivia couldn't believe she was in a shouting match with some kid in a tower. Another stuffed animal was tossed, this time an elephant.

"I'm sixteen!"

"Well, bully for you," she muttered before raising her voice. "Why the hell are you tossing things out your window?"

"I'm menstruating!" Olivia blinked. Once again, not expected.

"Do you always react this way?"

"This is my first time!" A sixteen year old who hadn't had a period before? Girls were getting periods earlier and earlier these days. She must not have been exposed to the chemicals normal teens ingested on a daily basis. Olivia wondered how sheltered this kid was. Her train of thought was promptly interrupted by the kid's next question. "How did you react your first time?" She stared blankly up at the white-gowned teenager, shocked at the invasion of her privacy.

"Er… I, uh… Look, can't you talk to your mother about this?"

"My mother's dead." Olivia felt a stab of pain and sympathy for this child who was so new to womanhood. She knew all too well what it was like to lose a mother.

"What about an older sister or an aunt or something?" she suggested.

"I only have my dad," the kid replied. Olivia winced. The idea of a single father with a teenaged daughter who didn't have any females on hand to talk to was painful. And now the kid was reaching out to some woman on the street simply because they both had working ovaries. It made a twisted sort of sense. Desperate is as desperate does. Although, really, the girl was seriously naïve. Who trusted a perfect stranger in this world? She was lucky Olivia wasn't planning on manipulating her way into the house and taking all the valuables. Or worse.

"Look, kid… Er, I mean, girl… What is your name, anyway?" she demanded.

"Shilo Wallace," was the prompt answer. It was then that Olivia had a thought. Shilo was willing to do just about anything to make a connection with someone else. The fact that she'd found Olivia, a person with a lingering sense of honor, instead of some pervert was sheer luck. In this town, luck like that never struck twice. If Olivia just walked off, Shilo would undoubtedly stumble into trouble. She wouldn't stumble, actually. She'd probably dive into it willingly.

Olivia was stunned by the realization that a living, breathing person needed her. It was exhilarating. Thrilling, almost. When had she last been thrilled?

"My name's Olivia Stewart. You can call me Livvy. Most people do." Olivia cleared her throat. If she shouted anymore, she was going to lose her voice. "Listen, Shilo, could you give me your bracelet number? It'd be a lot easier to talk to you if I didn't have to holler." Olivia didn't doubt for a second that Shilo had a communication cuff. Everyone had them. They were the convenient way for people to get in touch.

"Sure! Of course! Sorry, I didn't think - "

"Shilo, the number?"

"_I must be brave come, come what may."_

After Shilo gave a complete stranger her number, she began to wonder just what she thought she was doing. If her dad found out about this he would totally lose it. He'd been getting less patient with her recently. That probably had something to do with the fact that she'd been less cooperative but still. She knew she was treading on thin ice.

Then her bracelet jingled, letting her know that a call was coming through, and Shilo forgot about her dad. Someone was calling her. Someone new. She grinned, excited at the prospect of having a conversation with someone who wasn't her father. The cuff projected a small holographic image of Livvy Stewart and she studied her features like she did the constellations at night. She couldn't know what her exact coloring was right thanks to the blue and white tones of the projection but she got the general idea. Livvy had dark hair that was swept up in a complex style Shilo had never seen. A hair stick and probably several pins secured the hair over the right side of Livvy's face, leaving the back of her neck bare. The left side of her face was smooth and pretty unremarkable while the right side was a dark mystery. It made the teen naturally curious.

"You there, Shilo?"

"I'm here," she said, a little embarrassed by how eager she sounded. "I mean, yeah. It's working fine." A soft chuckle echoed out of the bracelet's speaker, probably in response to how cool Shilo had tried to make her voice.

"All right, then. You wanted to ask me something?" It took her a minute to recall exactly what that was.

"Um, what was it like for you the first time you… menstruated?"

"Painful and embarrassing. I was at school when blood started to drip down my legs. And kids, being kids, never let me live it down. Plus, the cramps were absolutely brutal. I'm one of the lucky gals that have painful cramps every time."

"Do you have a narrow cervix?" There was a moment of silence.

"Shilo, questions like that are going to make this a very short conversation." Shilo blanched. Was she not supposed to ask things like that?

"It's just that my dad told me women with a narrow cervix have more painful menstrual cramps. He said it was because the uterus had to contract harder to get out the, uh, the something tissue. I can't remember what the word is but it starts with an 'e'."

"Your **dad **told you all that?" Livvy let out a snicker. "And to think the only thing my dad knew was to keep out of the line of fire when it was that time of the month." Shilo sat down on her window seat, still staring down at the figure of Livvy. It occurred to the secluded girl that she was talking to a normal woman. Despite her odd hairstyle, she'd had a normal father and a normal education. She got to walk around outside and do all sorts of interesting things. "So how are the cramps for you? Terrible wrenching pain or minor discomfort?"

"It just aches," Shilo said, wrapping an arm around her middle. She hadn't really been thinking about it but the pain was definitely present. Now that it had her attention, she realized it was a bit stronger than before Livvy had come along. Could cramps get worse over time instead of better? "It goes away eventually, right? In a day?"

"Well, yeah, but you don't have to suffer through it," Livvy pointed out. "Don't you have some pain meds in there?"

"Not in my room. I just have my normal medication here." Shilo let out a sigh. "I have a blood disease. I'm weak a lot and I can't go outside. Or leave my room, dad says."

"I'm sorry, Shilo," she said. There was genuine regret in her voice. "And, damn. No pain meds? We'll have to try some more basic remedies. Do you have a heating pad?"

"I don't know. I might have something…" Shilo mumbled, her sentence trailing off as she started looking through drawers.

"The only other effective thing I can think of is an orgasm. I refuse to talk you through that," Livvy stated firmly. Shilo choked on a giggle. Even if there was pain, she hadn't had this much fun in a long time. She and her dad tended to argue more than anything else now. They hadn't joked or played. But even when things had been good with her dad, they'd never talked about sex. They'd definitely never joked about it.

"Ooh, I have a blanket that heats up!" Shilo said, pulling the neatly folded blanket out of her dresser.

"That'll do just fine. Now heat it up and put it over your stomach. After that, just take a nap. Rest is always best."

"Story of my life," Shilo muttered bitterly.

"I don't suppose you feel like sharing that with me at the moment," Livvy speculated out loud. Shilo glanced suspiciously down at her bracelet.

"Why are you being so nice to me? I hit you with a book. Why are you answering any of my questions at all?" There was no immediate answer. Of course, an immediate answer probably wouldn't have answered the question very well.

"You're young. I haven't felt young in a very long time." Livvy sighed. "I'm exhausted, Shilo. All the time. It's depressing. When you hit me with that book, I wasn't depressed anymore. Right now I'm not tired and, even if it's selfish, I'd rather not let that go."

"Oh. So… you don't really care about me," Shilo murmured, not really sure why she felt hurt by that. Livvy was a stranger. Why would she care about her?

"You know what's weird, Shilo? I think I might." The voice of Nathan Wallace interrupted the call.

"What are you doing out here?" Shilo froze. Her dad was home and he'd seen Livvy. Oh, she was going to be in so much trouble…

"_He won't bother to write or to phone you."_

Olivia figured she was in a sticky situation. Working with corpses, you had your occasional sticky situation but generally the other party didn't voice their opinion. The man standing just outside his front door didn't look dead to her.

"What are you doing out here?" She would have thought it was a nice voice if it hadn't been so cold. The look she was getting from behind the dark-rimmed glasses of Shilo's father was also far from warm. The way he was dressed set her a little off balance, too. He was wearing something her father probably would have liked, simple brown slacks and an ashy blue jacket. Mr. Wallace dripped old world manners. She had no idea how to handle him.

"Your daughter, uh, accidentally dropped some toys," Olivia said, stooping down to gather the victims of Shilo's rage. "I was just drying to determine how to get them back to her."

"You can leave them by the gate," Mr. Wallace replied with all the warmth of a slab in the morgue. "My daughter is in no condition to entertain strangers on the street."

"Entertained is stretching it," Olivia said, unable not to poke at him a tad. His stern demeanor demanded a few pokes. "Perplexed is a better word." He didn't respond and she didn't really have anything else to do except put the expelled toys outside the gate. "I'd say it was nice to meet you but we haven't exactly met properly so…"

"Nathan Wallace." He approached the gate slowly. There was a familiar grace in his movements that struck a chord in Olivia. That was how an animal moved while it decided whether to eat you or not. His eyes cut into hers. The uninteresting brown of his short hair hadn't prepared her for the intensity of his blue-green eyes. "I won't see you again."

"Olivia Stewart," she replied, nodding her head slightly. "With any luck, you won't." She swiftly turned on her heel and made her way up the street.

What she hadn't told Nathan Wallace was that the luck would have to be hers since she had every intention of seeing Shilo again and it would take quite a bit of luck not to get caught. Olivia didn't fight the grin that curved her mouth.

On the day rabbits fell from the sky, she'd found exactly what she'd needed to find. A purpose.


	3. Breaching the Keep

Chapter Two

"_It's quick. It's clean. It's pure."_

There was blood everywhere. Blood stained her hands and poisoned her mouth. She felt it trickling down her cheeks. Her shaking fingers touched the corner of her eye and drew back to reveal a fresh drop of crimson life seeping into the lines of her skin. Olivia was weeping blood.

"Hey, Livvy." Someone was shaking her shoulder. She let out a strangled gasp as her eyes opened. Dreaming. The blood had been a dream. Olivia met the dark eyes of the man who'd woken her. "Your moans were disturbing the corpses," he said dismissively. Olivia smirked.

"I'm glad someone's looking out for my customers," she replied lightly, sitting up on the cold slab that usually didn't have something living on its surface. Her rescuer shook his head, wavy blonde hair with streaks of blue and purple brushing against the furry maroon collar of his long jacket. He was just as pale as she was, their roles with the dead calling for more time in shadow than in sunlight. Of course, there hadn't been a lot of available sunlight for a long time.

"You have a bed upstairs and yet you sleep here most of the time." Olivia shrugged.

"It's convenient. I do most of my thinking here." She hopped off the slab, bare feet meeting the cold floor of the autopsy room. "I shudder to think where you sleep at night when you aren't camping out here, Graverobber." He tapped the right side of his face casually while the expression in his eyes was far from casual. She checked her face and realized her hair wasn't covering the right side. As she hurried to correct this mistake, the Graverobber wandered over to the wall made up of cold steel doors.

"Business been good this week?"

"The whole middle row," she replied, gesturing absently at the wall. He nodded, his expression satisfied.

"How much do you need?"

"Two vials ought to do it for now." Olivia probably would have engaged the Graverobber in conversation while he worked. They had a routine and it was rare for them to deviate. However, the bracelet on her wrist interrupted her normal life.

"Incoming message from Shilo Wallace." The Graverobber looked over his shoulder.

"You met someone new?"

"Just this kid… I mean, it was a week ago. She never called me back so I guess I thought… Hang on, will you?" Olivia left the room, feeling suddenly protective of this secret she shared with Shilo. Sure, it wasn't much of a secret. Two women had discussed cramps. No scandal there, certainly. But now Shilo was reaching out again and Olivia felt as if something real was beginning in her life. Something good. She accessed the message, watching the flickering holograph of Shilo appear. She was so very young and obviously innocent. Her face was sweet, untouched by life's cruelty. Those wide dark eyes were probably very expressive. Hopefully Olivia would get the chance to find out for herself.

"Livvy, it's Shilo. I know I haven't called but dad's been really clingy this week. He said he'll be working all night so if you want to come over… Except I can't get out of my room to let you in so you'll be stuck outside… But maybe you could call me and we could talk? Just let me know, I guess. Bye." Olivia smiled. So Nathan Wallace would be absent for an evening. Perfect. That gave her a chance to try out a stupid and probably dangerous idea.

"Shilo, I got your message," she said once she'd dialed the kid's number. "I've got an idea. How are your knots?"

"_From my window. I can see the world from there."_

Shilo didn't know if her knots would be good enough for this kind of plan. She'd tied her sheets together as tight as she could but she had horrible flashes of Livvy falling to her death. As she tied one end of the sheet tight around the rail surrounding her window, she prayed Livvy's idea would work.

Her dad had said good night to her an hour ago. Her orders were to go to sleep. In the morning, he'd be home. He'd said more than that but once she realized that she had a night free, Shilo tuned out. She could see Livvy again, this time without the annoying cramps. They could talk about all the things Shilo didn't have the nerve to ask her father.

Livvy finally appeared, waving briefly up at Shilo before scaling the fence. Shilo's eyes widened. She hadn't realized how fit Livvy was. What did she do for a living that made her able to scale tall fences in a matter of seconds? She stared down at the mystery woman she was about to let into her house before tossing down the other end of the sheet rope. Her bed was a mess but at least the rope was long enough for Livvy to reach. The woman tugged on the rope a few times. Then she started climbing, taking far more time with this than she did with the fence. Shilo noticed that Livvy was clinging to the side of the house far more than the rope, which was probably the smart thing to do.

"Nothing like climbing a three-story house," Livvy grunted once she had finally reached Shilo's window. She hauled herself over the rails and landed on the window seat. Shilo now had the opportunity to know what a real woman looked like in person. Livvy was at least five inches taller than Shilo and not half as skinny. Black pants outlined her full hips while tall black boots hugged her calves. They were great legs. Shilo thought briefly of her own chicken legs and sighed. She wasn't able to compare their busts since Livvy was wearing a lumpy brown sweater and the black coat from before that wasn't leather after all.

"So that's what real people wear?" Livvy blinked. Well, at least one of her eyes blinked. Shilo still couldn't see the right side of her face. The pin in her hair looked different. It was gold and twisted into a loopy knot. The hair itself was approximately the color of mahogany, relatively uninteresting. The one eye Shilo could see was what struck her. It was a fierce blue, so different from her dad's pale eyes. Aside from that eye, Livvy was pretty average.

"I don't know about real people but it's generally what I wear." Livvy shrugged. "I'm afraid I can't teach you all that much about fashion. Just practicality." She hopped off the window seat and began to tug off her coat. Shilo went back to staring at her boots.

"Those are really cool." Livvy glanced down at her boots with a fond smile.

"Yeah, they're old friends. Every woman needs a reliable pair of boots," she informed Shilo as she laid the coat down. Shilo bit her lip.

"Really?" Livvy opened her mouth to say yes but then she saw the worried look on Shilo's face and apparently changed her mind.

"Well, I suppose no one really needs boots unless they have a job that calls for it. I just happen to like them." Shilo felt a little less concerned. She didn't have boots. Maybe if she worked really hard at begging her dad he'd consider buying her a pair. "So what do you feel like doing tonight?"

"Well, um, do you like chess? My dad and I play it all the time." Shilo immediately felt like smacking herself. Didn't she want to do something different than what she did all the time?

"Chess?" Livvy considered it a moment. "Okay but you'd better be nice to me. It's been at least sixteen years since I've played." Shilo grinned at the prospect of playing someone who was actually worse than she was. Her dad whipped her every time and it got old fast.

"Awesome. I'll get the board."

"_Something real to cling to, leave you."_

"That's not fair!" Shilo began giggling at the deeply wounded expression on Olivia's face. They'd set the board up on Shilo's bed after pulling the pristine white blanket over the stripped mattress. Olivia had taken off her boots to keep from staining the blanket and had swiftly realized just how badly Shilo was going to beat her. Three games later, she was knew exactly how right she was.

"Sure it's fair," Shilo said through the giggles. "You left your queen vulnerable."

"That's hardly the point," Olivia sputtered, wondering where on earth her dignity had gone. "The queen's my favorite. I was having a hard enough time without my favorite piece. Now I haven't got any morale left."

"You've still got your knight," Shilo pointed out helpfully. Olivia glared at the horse-shaped character.

"Useless little bastard." The teen's eyes widened a little and Olivia realized she was going to have to curb her tongue. Shilo clearly wasn't used to casual swearing. "So… your dad's kind of spooky, isn't he?" Olivia considered her next move while Shilo got over her surprise.

"No, he isn't. He's fussy and overbearing but not spooky." She flicked a glance up at Shilo's sincere face.

"I guess you know him better than I do. And as long as he's good to you…" She deliberately let that sentence without an ending. Olivia didn't have any scruples about taking a kid away from an abusive father, although she wasn't really sure if that was the situation. Of course, if she stole Shilo, where would she take her?

"He's great when he's not being overprotective," Shilo muttered, clearly not getting the hint. However, her response put Olivia's mind at ease. Nathan Wallace clearly wasn't hurting his daughter. He just hadn't given her everything she needed, such as a woman to talk to.

"Anyway, onto girly topics, which super cute boy on television do you like? And if you say Pavi Largo, I won't bother with the rope. I will jump out the window." Shilo started giggling again, which was exactly what Olivia wanted.

"His face is creepy, isn't it? Now** that's** spooky." After laughing over that, Shilo warmed to the subject. She gushed over one of the more recent boy bands like any normal teenager. Then her bracelet beeped a medicine reminder and she went through the motions of swallowing pills like it was something she did on a regular basis. Which it was. Olivia felt her heart get a little heavy at that.

"I just remembered that I brought you something," Olivia said, swinging her legs off the bed. Shilo smirked.

"You just don't want to finish the game."

"Naturally," Olivia joked as she reached into her coat and pulled out a small, battered book. She ran her thumb gently over the white cover that had been so aged by time. "This belonged to my mother. It was published long before I was even born. Most of my books are like that." Olivia was a little started to find Shilo standing just behind her, a timid look on her face.

"What is it?"

"_The Silver Kiss_." She set the book gently in the teen's hands. "It's not a great classic. I noticed it on my shelf shortly after I got your call and I thought… Well, it reminded me of you, I suppose."

"What's it about?" she asked softly, her eyes fixed on the book as though she thought it might suddenly vanish if she looked away.

"A teenaged girl, what else?" Olivia teased gently. "Her mother is dying and it seems like her life is crumbling. Then she meets a boy. An immortal boy."

"Immortal?" Shilo finally dared to look away from the book to meet Olivia's eyes. She nodded.

"And unlike anything she's ever known. He teaches her some important lessons about life."

"Like what?" Olivia shook her head, smiling gently.

"You have to read to find out." Shilo hugged the book against her chest. There was a hope in her eyes that Olivia couldn't begin to fathom. It was almost as if instead of a book, Olivia had offered her the keys to the world. Maybe she had, in a way.

"You never said if you were married or had kids… or something," Shilo said quietly. The question seemed to make her tense. Olivia sighed.

"No husband, no children and definitely no boyfriend. Just me and Graverobber."

"Who?" she asked, confused.

"A weird friend of mine," Olivia said dismissively. She didn't exactly feel fair, calling Graverobber weird. She was just as strange, after all. "Anyway, I don't have any family. My parents died when I was thirteen. I stayed with my aunt and uncle but they weren't really into kids. I'm on my own."

"So are we," Shilo said. "My dad and I, I mean." She nodded silently. The mood had officially plummeted into depressing. Time for a change of topic.

"I'll clean up the board. You've destroyed me quite enough for one evening." Somehow that hadn't come out quite right. She ignored the aching in her heart as she cleared off the bed, setting the board and pieces on a nearby desk. Even if the place was a prison, Olivia thought Shilo's room was pretty nice. She had a large canopy bed, several dressers, a desk and even a piano. Bookshelves were set into the walls but the titles all looked like they related to education. The ones that weren't seemed a little juvenile. Overall it was a nice room with a white and faded pink theme. It was better than what she'd had after her parents died, anyway.

"Olivia?" Shilo's voice sounded particularly fragile and Olivia dreaded what she might see on the kid's face. She turned hesitantly to look. Shilo stared up at her with what the older woman knew had to be hope.

"Yes, Shilo?"

"Do you… I mean, would you…?" She fell silent. Olivia wished she knew how to make Shilo feel better, stronger, more complete. She wished she knew how to be a mother because that was exactly what the teen needed more than anything else. She needed a mom and a dad and a garden to play in and a stupid puppy that tripped on its ears. Come to think of it, everyone needed that life.

Suddenly Shilo's silence went from hesitant to panic. There was a soft creak in the hallway. "My dad!" she whispered. She shoved the sheet rope beneath the bed along with Olivia's boots. Olivia took the hint and hastily dived beneath the bed, hiding as deep in the shadows as she could. Shilo jumped in bed and pulled the blanket over her body. Olivia prayed Wallace wasn't the observant sort. If he looked too hard, he might notice the absence of sheets.

There was a jangle of keys and then the door creaked open slowly. "Shi?" Olivia's eyes widened. His voice was so different! The ice was missing, replaced by a gentle, comforting warmth. "Are you awake?" Shilo wisely made no response. She wondered just how often Shilo had faked sleep in order to be left alone. There was a moment when he seemed to take a step back but something must have caught his eye. He entered the room. Olivia watched his feet move across the floor, heading for the window. She couldn't remember if they'd left it open. Was that what had bothered him?

The bottom of her coat brushed the floor as Nathan Wallace held it out. Olivia froze. She'd forgotten her coat. Her lips formed one silent word.

Fuck.


	4. Wisdom of Youth

Chapter Three

"_Marni wouldn't want this for you."_

It wasn't the first time Olivia had found herself in a tight spot. It was, however, the first time she'd been hiding under a bed to avoid being caught by some kid's father. This was new.

The most disturbing thing was, however, not that it was new. Instead this situation felt completely familiar. She could feel her body going still, her heart beating evenly despite the stress. Masculine shoes slowly approached the bed, carefully tracked by Olivia's eyes. There wasn't fear, just a certainty that she was being hunted. She would have to fight. She was ready.

"Shilo, wake up," Nathan said firmly. Olivia blinked a few times. Sanity intruded on instinct as Shilo gave up on pretending that she was asleep.

"Dad?"

"Whom does this jacket belong to?" Olivia let out a quiet breath. There was nothing here she would have to battle. Wallace was just a regular man. He wasn't going to beat her to a pulp just for visiting his daughter. Her reaction had been totally uncalled for and now she had less time to think of reasonable, calming things to say to him. Even if he wasn't going to beat her to a pulp, they were going to get into an argument.

"Oh, that… that jacket? Um, well, I - "

"No point in trying to cover our tracks, Shilo. We're caught," Olivia said in a deliberately casual voice. She pushed her way past the clear plastic curtain surrounding the bed and crawled out into the open, taking her boots with her. About a second later Nathan Wallace had her tightly by the arms, slamming her hard against a bedpost. The breath shoved out of her in a shocked gasp. She could feel the tension in his body, the restraint. He was holding back. If he hadn't, he might have broken her arms.

Meeting Nathan for the second time cleared a few things up for Olivia. For one thing, he wasn't creepy. He was downright terrifying. His eyes blazed, far greener up close than from a distance. She could also see a small patch of hazel on his right eye, which was hard to see behind his glasses. Being this close, she could see a lot of things. His face was handsome, age lines carving deep into his cheeks and giving him more character than any younger man. There was experience there and the edge made him dangerous. Briefly, Olivia felt like a helpless, stupid deer staring into headlights. It was an old metaphor and there were never any deer in the streets nowadays but she felt the comparison appropriate. Then her boots slipped from her numb fingers, banging hard against the floor. It was enough to shake her out of her shock. "Get off me," she snarled, her tone deepening to one she used very rarely.

"What are you doing here?" he snarled back with a tone that matched hers.

"Dad, stop it! You'll hurt her!" Shilo cried, jumping out of bed and running to Olivia's defense.

"Get back, Shilo!" Nathan and Olivia shouted together. Then they both paused to stare at each other, bewildered by the coincidence. Shilo stumbled back. She wasn't used to being shouted at by two people at once and it was enough to make her obey.

"Please, dad, I just wanted to talk to someone who understood," she pleaded softly. Nathan's eyes flicked toward his daughter and Olivia felt his grip soften. She immediately shoved him away, instinctively moving to shield Shilo.

"How did you get in here?" he demanded. The softness his daughter inspired had vanished. A little voice in Olivia's head told her he was still holding back, that he could be a hell of a lot scarier. She tried to ignore it.

"I climbed," she replied flatly, refusing to supply details.

"I asked her to come," Shilo hurried to tell him. Olivia fought the urge to roll her eyes. Here she was trying to cover for Shilo while the kid was trying to cover for her.

"Getting inside was my idea," Olivia said firmly, trying to get Nathan's attention away from Shilo. The teenager wasn't going to give up that easy, though.

"I'm the one who tied my sheets together."

"I scaled the fence without anyone's help," she shot back. Nathan's eyes flicked between the two of them, frown lines deepening.

"It's still my fault," Shilo claimed stubbornly.

"Oh, it is not!"

"Enough!" Nathan snapped. The women fell silent. He looked briefly at his daughter. "We'll discuss this later. Miss Stewart," he said, surprising Olivia. She hadn't thought he remembered her name. "Collect your things and join me in the hall." In one graceful move he turned and was out the door before she could complain about being ordered around.

"That doesn't bode well, does it?" she murmured quietly, tugging on her boots and picking up her coat from the floor. Shilo watched her and tried not to give anything away with her expression. Olivia could see the plea in her eyes anyway. She reached out, tracing Shilo's cheek with her fingertips. "You'll be seeing me again, kid. Acid rain couldn't keep me away."

"I'm not a kid," Shilo said but there wasn't any force behind it. She smiled as Olivia walked into the hall, gently closing the door behind her.

"What do you think you're playing at?" Nathan demanded once the door had closed. Olivia took a brief moment to observe her surroundings before she responded. The hall was dark, although the wallpaper was a light rose color and the carpet was red. Without natural sunlight the place was sinister, lamps and wall fixtures creating more shadows than comforting light. The holographic portraits didn't help warm the place up, either. There was always a spooky quality to those things and these were no exception. It was the same woman over and over again, in different outfits and various poses. In a few she was even reaching out. It was the perfect hall for ghosts.

"What am I playing at?" Olivia mused, turning to face Nathan. "I'm playing at keeping your daughter out of trouble. What are you playing at?" If she had been closer, she might have seen his eyes go empty as something warred for control in his body. He shook his head and she didn't realize how close she'd come to ruin.

"My daughter is my responsibility. I've kept her out of trouble for sixteen years and I have absolutely no need of assistance." Olivia snorted.

"Yeah, right. She's a teenaged girl with raging hormones and curiosity but you think you've got it handled. By sheer luck your daughter reached out to one of the few people in this city who wouldn't kill, rape, manipulate or rob her. How lucky do you think she's going to be a second time?"

"There won't be a second time," Nathan replied flatly. He took Olivia by the elbow and led her down the hall toward the stairs. Although, led wasn't precisely the word for it. Dragged was more appropriate. "You will leave our house. If you come back, I'll have you arrested." It took everything Olivia had not to say 'like I haven't heard that before'. Instead she continued to argue, pressing her heels into the carpet to slow his progress.

"The hell there won't be a second time. Just because you wag your finger at her doesn't mean she's going to fall into line without a second thought. She's good at strategy. One way or another, she'll find a way around you and into the world without any idea how to protect herself."

"How do you know anything about my daughter?" he snarled. They hadn't even gotten half way down the stairs, she was resisting so hard. Nathan wasn't getting anywhere by dragging her and if he pulled too hard he'd dislocate her arm. The notion wasn't entirely repulsive.

"I know about her head for strategy because I just spend the last two hours getting my butt kicked at chess. The rest I know because, oddly enough, I was a teenager once," she pointed out dryly.

"Clearly not very long ago," he retorted. Her eyes narrowed.

"That's rich coming from you, gramps. At least I remember being a teenager." Then **his **eyes narrowed.

"Gramps? I'm forty-five, you obnoxious little - "

"And I'm twenty-nine. Bite me," she snapped. Olivia regretted tagging on the 'bite me' but she hadn't been able to resist. Of all the things to argue about, she hadn't predicted age. Instead of striking back, the air seemed to go out of Nathan. He released her arm and stumbled back a few steps. Something had shocked him but Olivia couldn't figure out what it was. His eyes went to a portrait. It was the same woman from the hallway, the dark curls and cat-that-ate-the-canary grin gave her away. She frowned. How many pictures of one woman did he really need? Then it hit her.

Oh.

"That's… that's your wife, isn't it?"

"Yes," he answered softly. Olivia gulped. She decided not to ask about how old she'd been when she died. She was pretty sure she already knew, since Nathan's face had considerably more somber since she shouted her age at him.

"I'm sorry you lost her. It couldn't have been easy, raising Shilo on your own. Now that she's older, it's going to get even harder." He frowned at her and, for the first time, she offered him a smile. It was a small one and it wasn't enthusiastic but it was definitely a smile. "I'm a woman. To get there, I had to go through what Shilo's dealing with now. I know what it's like and it's not pretty."

"I'll handle it," Nathan said with every intention of taking Olivia's arm again. She jumped down a few steps and away from his hand.

"Can you hear me out for a second? I swear, you're one of the more stubborn men I've ever known." He let out an exasperated sigh and passed a hand over his face. Olivia took that for an agreement. "Would it really hurt anything if I came to visit Shilo every now and then? I understand she's sick. I wouldn't do anything really physical. Besides, you're around her all the time and she's fine."

"I'm clean," he pointed out. Olivia's lips thinned. She understood exactly what he was intimating and she didn't appreciate it.

"I don't do drugs. I'm high on the toxic fumes released into our atmosphere." He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Brilliant. An environmentalist," he muttered.

"Almost worse than a zydrate addict," she quipped lightly before getting back to the point. "She needs a woman around, Mr. Wallace. She has questions and concerns that a middle-aged man will not be able to answer." He grunted. It wasn't encouraging but then, it wasn't an outright denial, either. "Is that a maybe?"

"We'd need rules." She smiled again.

"I can do rules." Sort of. "How about a fixed schedule to start with? Would that appeal to your compulsive side?" He glowered at her but nodded anyway.

"Once a month you can - "

"Twice a week," she countered. "Five hours each visit, at least."

"Once a week," Nathan argued. "And you can have three hours."

"Once a week and half the day each visit." He started to argue again but Olivia cut him off. "I'm not going any lower than that."

"You realize I could just kick you out and never let you in again," he informed her bluntly. She just shrugged.

"So I'd have to do some more climbing. I can use the exercise."

"I knew I should have made that fence electric," Nathan muttered. He shoved his hands in his pockets and stared at Olivia without blinking for a long, disconcerting moment. "Why are you doing this?"

"To be honest, I need to be needed. I've been floating without much of a purpose and Shilo is like an anchor into something real. She's a special girl," Olivia replied gently. "She's unique in this world. Clean. I don't want to see her hurt, even if I don't know her that well. I've never been very good at controlling my feelings and it seems I'm already emotionally invested in her. Stupid, really, but there it is. I'm stuck. So either you and I learn to tolerate each other or I sneak in on a regular basis. Which is it?"

"I would prefer to keep an eye on you," Nathan conceded. His face was inscrutable. Olivia just took comfort in the fact that he hadn't booted her out already.

"If you let me have my half day each week, I promise not to be too much trouble. Hell, I'll even let you keep two eyes on me instead of just the one." His mouth twitched. Olivia's eyes widened. She'd almost made him smile. Now that had to be a good sign. "Deal?" She held out her hand, hoping the unpainted nails might be a mark in her favor.

"For the time being… Yes, deal," Nathan agreed as his large, long-fingered hand swallowed her narrow one. The contact made her hand tingle slightly, although she couldn't image why. Nathan wasn't her type and never would be. She was there for Shilo, period.

"I'll see you Wednesday, then," she said lightly, quickly releasing his hand and hurrying down the stairs before they could argue about that particular day of the week.

The tingles didn't go away.


	5. Needles

Chapter Four

"_Would you change who you are if you could?"_

The Graverobber knew he hadn't seen everything the world had to offer but he thought he'd seen about everything the city he lived in could throw his way. He was corrected when he walked in on Livvy wearing brown tweed trousers. That wasn't something he thought he'd ever see.

"Tweed?" he asked, eyes widened as he took in the sight of her standing in the middle of her room in trousers. It took him even longer to take in the chiffon, long bubble-sleeved shirt. She didn't look like herself. Aside from the boots and her hairstyle, there was nothing there to hint that this was Olivia Stewart. Then she scowled and he let out a relieved sigh. That was definitely Livvy.

"You could try knocking every now and again," she hinted. He just shrugged, strolled across the room and collapsed on her bed. He could practically hear her wince. "When was the last time you washed that jacket?" She was probably thinking about her clean sheets. Sticking her hands in a corpse never got to her but get dirt on her things and her left eye started to twitch. Maybe the right eye twitched, too. It wasn't as if he saw it very often.

"Weeks, months, who knows?" he said dismissively. "Why are you dressed like someone's grandmother? Got a date you're trying to impress?" Livvy began sputtering.

"A – a what? No! Shit, it's nothing like that at all. I'm just trying to look a little more legitimate than I usually do." She smoothed down her trousers although they were unwrinkled. The Graverobber propped himself up on his elbows.

"What are you getting into, Livvy?"

"Who says I'm getting into anything?" she muttered defensively. She moved away, sitting down at an old mirrored make-up dresser. The dark wood of the dresser was carefully oiled, the mirror polished to a high shine. That was when the Graverobber finally noticed what was going on. Livvy had cabin fever. The entire room was spotless. The hardwood floor had been recently cleaned and it looked like the headboard of her bed had been polished as well. The dark blue comforter was warm, as if it had just been pulled out of a dryer. It looked like she'd even alphabetized her bookcase. The single picture that hung on the dark cream walls had clearly been dusted, the wooden frame carefully tended to. The old fashioned picture of a woman and man that resembled Livvy probably would have been polished too, if that had been possible.

She'd been on a cleaning binge. She only did that when she was really anxious. Things clicked into place for the Graverobber. The call she'd gotten from some kid named Shilo three days ago, the way Livvy had been so distracted recently and now breaking out her mother's old clothes began to make sense. This was much bigger than a date.

"This is the first time you've ever tried to lie to me, Livvy. I hope it's for something important," he said flatly, pulling himself off the bed and striding toward the door. She swore quietly and he felt smug. They both knew he was using guilt to get answers. He didn't regret it at all.

"All right, all right, I'll tell you. Just hold on a second." Livvy shifted on the cushioned bench so she could meet the Graverobber's eyes properly. "There's this sixteen year old girl I'm trying to help out. Her name's Shilo and she's got a disease that makes it impossible for her to go outside. Her mother's dead and the only person around is her middle-aged father and I… Well, I sort of volunteered to be a female friend. She needs someone and it's not as if I don't have free time." The Graverobber just stared for a long time.

"You're kidding."

"No," Livvy said, frowning a little at his disbelieving tone. Then he started to laugh.

"Shit, Livvy, this is so like you I'm not sure why I'm surprised." He shook his head, fighting against the laughter. Of course, that just made it worse. "It's not as if your life isn't already complicated."

"I don't like talking about that," she said coldly. He knew that voice and his laughter abruptly died. He stared at the right side of her face, as if waiting for the curtain of hair to part. Livvy quickly shook her head. "No, I'm fine. I'm not… I'm fine. I just don't like thinking about it." He sighed. This was what came of having friends. Everything got complicated. Too bad he'd known Livvy since she was fifteen. He couldn't ditch her now. Besides, she was good for his business. There weren't many morgues that gave him access to bodies at such a low price.

"Yeah, I get it. But keep this in mind, Livvy. She's sixteen and curious. How long until she wants to see what you're hiding?" Livvy's face darkened and she turned away. "You're looking for pain. You're addicted to it."

"Leave. Please." He shrugged. It wasn't their first disagreement. She'd get over it eventually. He headed for the door.

"Be careful of Mercy, Olivia. Her qualities are a little more straining than anyone else knows."

"_An entire city built on top of the dead."_

"Livvy Stewart here for scheduled Shilo time." Olivia leaned against the buzzer, talking into the speaker just outside the gate of the Wallace household. What the Graverobber had said stuck uncomfortably in her mind. Maybe she was addicted to pain. This scenario could only end painfully, after all. Either Olivia would screw up somehow and be forcibly ejected from Shilo's life or Shilo would see her face and decide she didn't want her anymore. It wasn't just her face, though. There were shadows, secrets. Olivia shook her head as the gate creaked open. Better not to think about it.

Olivia had tried to present the image of a woman who was average and harmless. She thought perhaps the tweed and ivory chiffon could accomplish that. Her boots clicked against the stone walkway leading up to the front door, large carpetbag thumping against her hip as she walked. The bag was old and a little tattered but the only other large bag she had harbored instruments she had no intention of introducing Shilo to at any time. Before she'd left the morgue, she'd glanced briefly into a mirror. For a hopeful moment she'd looked like her mother, then she deliberately lifted the hair away from the right side of her face. Olivia's mouth twisted into a parody of a smile. Addicted to pain. Indeed.

Nathan Wallace opened the door and Olivia's smile became genuine. Nothing like a disapproving father figure to make her feel more like herself. "Good afternoon, Mr. Wallace. You look almost surprised to see me." At least, that's what she thought the emotion on his face might have been. He was not at all easy to read.

"Disappointed," he corrected. She smirked.

"I don't mind if you don't like me - "

"That's fortunate." Olivia pressed the heel of her hand to her heart.

"Ouch. Talk about an arrow to the heart," she said, although her tone was far from injured. If anything she was amused. So the man in the Stone Age Oxford shirt and tweed vest didn't like her. As if it mattered. The fact that she was wearing tweed as well conveniently slipped her mind. "I was going to say I don't mind because people generally don't like me."

"Except teenagers," he reminded her. 'And drug dealers' very nearly slipped out of her mouth. Olivia cleared her throat.

"Yeah. Except teenagers." Nathan's eyes narrowed suspiciously as if he could tell she was holding something back. She tried not to react. "Do I get to come inside now?" His eyes scanned her and immediately fixed on her bag.

"What did you bring?"

"Porn and alcohol." Olivia mentally slapped herself for letting that one slip. Damn sarcasm. Nathan definitely wasn't amused. She decided it was his own fault. If he hadn't been such an easy target she wouldn't be tempted.

"I'd like to think that was a bad joke but with you I can't be sure," he said tiredly. Olivia noticed the shadows under his eyes and felt a twinge of sympathy. Clearly this decision was tough for him, even if it was right. She decided to cut him some slack.

"Sorry. Look, everything I brought I cleaned. I washed the fabric squares this morning and my needles are always clean no matter what." Only one word registered with Nathan.

"Needles?" Olivia's mouth thinned as she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, Mr. Wallace, I'm teaching her about sharp objects. Today it's needles but if she does well we can move up to razor blades." She opened her bag and grabbed a few fabric squares to show him. "Quilting, you neurotic control freak. It's something my mother and I did together and I thought Shilo might like to try." Nathan winced.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean… Wait, neurotic?" He frowned at her and Olivia bit back a grin.

"I won't apologize for that one. You had it coming." His frown deepened. She sighed, moving her weight from one foot to another. "Okay, so we've exchanged insults. Do you think you could let me in now?" The frown didn't go away but Nathan did move back a little to allow her entrance. She brushed past him, noticing his scent as she did so. Antibacterial soap hit her first and then something familiar, something that reminded her of the morgue. Olivia frowned slightly. What was that?

"Shilo's been talking about you since you left." She turned back to look at him. He was still standing in the doorway, a distinctly lost expression on his face. "You left her a book last time. She loved it. Whenever I went to her room, she was reading it."

"I'm glad," Olivia murmured, not sure what other response she should give. He looked so sad but she didn't know what had upset him. She began to wonder if he was bipolar as well as neurotic.

"How did you know that would appeal to her? You barely knew Shilo." She cleared her throat. Olivia wasn't sure but she thought maybe Nathan was upset because she could so easily connect to Shilo. It would make sense. He raised her, loved her and yet a stranger seemed to understand her better. It probably hurt.

"I gave her a book with a character she could relate to. A sixteen-year-old girl looking for herself." Olivia glanced over her shoulder at the stairs, wishing she could leave this dark entry room and the man whose moods she couldn't track. She especially wanted to get out from under the eyes of yet another portrait of the former Mrs. Wallace. She stared accusingly at Olivia from above the fireplace, almost as if forbidding her to leave while Nathan was vulnerable. Olivia sighed, turning to look at him. "Teenagers are tricky, Mr. Wallace. The only reason I'm having such an easy time is because I'm new to her life. I could probably give her a plunger right now and she'd treasure it." A sound emerged from Nathan that sounded suspiciously like a chuckle.

"You are a very strange woman," he said. Olivia smiled.

"And not half as disreputable as you think. Probably. I guess it depends on how imaginative you are." Nathan let out that half-chuckle, half-groan sound again.

"You're about as comforting as organ failure," he informed her. Nathan closed the front door and walked toward the stairs. "I'd better get you to Shilo before I let that change my mind." Olivia made a sound in the affirmative, deciding not to test her luck anymore by opening her mouth.

Shilo's greeting was the opposite of Nathan's. The minute Olivia stepped through the door she found her arms filled with sixteen-year-old girl. Her arms wrapped around Shilo automatically, although it had been a very long time since she'd been hugged. Luckily she still knew how. She stared down at the kid's dark head, remembering how good it felt.

"Well, Shilo, if you didn't want to see me all you had to do was say so," Olivia joked. Sarcasm was the best defense. Shilo giggled and released her.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to invade your space." She glanced around Olivia, a less than patient look on her face. "Need something, dad?" Olivia winced. Being rejected by one's daughter? Yeah, that was guaranteed to hurt.

"My number," she blurted out. Nathan and Shilo stared at her.

"What?"

"Er, I was going to give your father my number just in case. The spontaneous hugging made me forget. Sorry," she told Nathan, trying to will the confused look off his face. Eventually he got the hint.

"Oh, yes. Well, ready when you are." She gave him her number, all the while wondering why she'd tried to swoop in and save him. It wasn't as if he needed protecting. "Thank you for that." She blinked. He was looking at her with what she could only describe as warmth. It almost spooked her more than when he'd slammed her against the bedpost.

"No problem," she said dismissively, looking quickly away from him. Nathan quickly departed and Olivia was left with a very curious teenager.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Nothing," Olivia said quickly. "Anyway, I brought you something. You might hate this but I figured it was something you wouldn't learn from your dad." Shilo perked up at the prospect of learning something new.

"Awesome," she said, trying to get a peak into the carpetbag to see what the surprise was. Olivia didn't notice when she started staring at her and not the bag. "Livvy, what are you wearing?"

"What? Oh, this," she said, glancing down at her clothes. "It's not really my style, is it? It's just for your dad's benefit." Shilo's eyes widened.

"His benefit? You mean… you like him?" Olivia glanced over, perplexed by the kid's expression. She looked a little shocked and yet a little pleased. What…? Then Olivia choked on air.

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no. I mean, yes but no. I mean - " Olivia stopped talking and pinched the bridge of her nose. Hard. "I find him to be an acceptable person but I'm not attracted to him. I dressed like this so he wouldn't decide I was a bad influence for you."

"Oh." Shilo looked away and Olivia got the impression that she was disappointed. She fought back a groan. They had to get off this topic fast before Shilo started thinking about how Olivia's name would sound if it ended with Wallace.

"Anyway, how do you feel about quilts?"

"I never thought about it," Shilo said. The teenager watched quietly as Olivia got out fabric squares, needle and thread. The older woman settled on the floor.

"It's something I got into with my mother. I liked to skip school a lot when I was a kid so she'd have me make quilts with her. It was what she did for a living, make quilts. She thought I'd hate it and go to school more often. I hated school more than quilting, though."

"Why would you hate school?" she asked curiously, sitting beside Olivia on the floor.

"Most people do," she replied lightly. "Now, we're not going to start with anything complex. I'm just going to teach you how to stitch before we actually try making a quilt. It's painstaking but you've got the time to practice." Olivia continued to explain the basics of quilting while Shilo listened.

Of course, that didn't mean Shilo would forget about how her father had stared at Olivia or how Olivia had stared back. It would take a lot more than quilts to make that happen. A hell of a lot more.


	6. Heart of the Home

Chapter Five

"_Didn't I say the world was cruel, didn't I?"_

Not for the first time that month, Olivia found herself lounging barefoot on a teenager's bed. She stared at the steadily beeping monitors on Shilo's nightstand. She wondered absently if the monitor was somehow attuned to the teen's bracelet. How else could it keep track of her vitals? It wasn't as if she was connected to it. Her eyes went from the monitor up to the portrait of the dead woman on the wall. She looked like Shilo, in a way. They weren't twins but the resemblance was pretty close. That had to be unnerving, staring at a dead person who looked like you. Her lips quirked upward as she thought of the photograph of her mother. Very unnerving, indeed.

"How are these, Livvy?" She looked up at Shilo who was offering her latest attempt at stitching. This was only Olivia's third official visit so by rights Shilo didn't have to be suddenly brilliant with a needle but she managed it anyhow. It probably had to do with the fact that she had loads of time on her hands, as Olivia had pointed out when they started this little project. She accepted the fabric squares and studied the neat, tidy little stitches.

"You're ridiculously good and I'm officially envious. It took me ages to get my stitches just right," Olivia confessed. Even today she could get a little nervous when it came to pulling a needle through cloth. Skin was another matter entirely.

"So we can move to the next step?" Shilo asked hopefully. The older woman smirked. Shilo was itching for action and the closest she could get was quilting. It hardly seemed fair.

"Not today," Olivia decided, a new and doubtlessly bad idea beginning to form. "I may have something else for you to do but I'm going to let it simmer in my head for a minute. You can go ahead and ask me something random while we wait." Olivia knew Shilo wasn't about to pass up that offer, no matter how curious she was about her newest idea. It turned out that her clever distraction plan had a serious design flaw.

"What happened to your parents?" Olivia sat up.

"Always the tough questions," she muttered, looking away from Shilo's eyes. "My parents were casualties of the modern world. There's a price we pay for living like we do. People don't like to talk about it or even consider the truth. But it's there." Olivia closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath.

"What's the price?" Shilo asked. The teen's eyes were wide with what Olivia could only think of as morbid curiosity.

"Pain." Olivia watched her shudder. She couldn't blame her for it. Her voice had softened in a dangerous way when she said that word. This entire conversation was dangerous. It brought forth a lot of bad memories and bad instincts.

"Livvy, your face - "

"Is incredibly uninteresting and not worthy of comment," Olivia cut in swiftly. "Anyway, I've decided to do something stupid." She stood up and picked her jacket up off the window seat. After coming to the house once dressed like someone from 2008, she'd decided to switch back to her traditional dark clothes. They were more comfortable and harder to stain. Not to mention the fact that she'd gotten a lot of weird stares in her other getup.

"What kind of stupid?" Shilo asked, watching as Olivia stuffed something in her pocket and pulled on her boots. She rethought her choice of words while considering the layout of the Wallace household.

"Maybe not stupid. Potentially stupid but at the moment more daring and adventurous. Both of those things can equal stupid in the right circumstances," she admitted. "Anyway, I'm thinking I should teach you to cook. It's a useful skill and I'm in the mood for some homemade pizza." The puzzled look on Shilo's face didn't go away.

"You mean the flat pie, right?" Her eyes widened as she saw, probably for the first time in her life, a teenager who had never had pizza.

"That seals it. The world is not so awful that a kid can't have a slice of pizza. I won't stand for it."

"But I don't have a kitchen in here."

"But there is a kitchen out there," Olivia said, pointing towards Shilo's locked door. "And, conveniently, there's someone who knows how to pick a lock in here." Olivia crossed the room and kneeled before the lock.

"Where did you learn that?" she asked curiously. She could feel Shilo watching from over her shoulder even though there wasn't much to see. With a few twists of a wire, she had the door unlocked. It wasn't a very complex lock. Nathan probably never considered the idea of Shilo trying to break it.

"Oh, well, after my parents died I hang out with the wrong crowd, got mixed up in things I shouldn't have gotten mixed up in and was all sorts of trouble. Then I met a drug dealer and my life greatly improved. He taught me all kinds of useful tricks, including the art of picking locks." She slipped the wire back in her pocket and stood up. Shilo was staring at her in awe.

"You know a drug dealer?" Olivia tried not to wince. Perhaps that was information she shouldn't have given out so easily. The walls had ears, after all. And in this house, the ears all belonged to a very strict father.

"It's not as cool as it sounds. He's obnoxious. Also, doing drugs isn't good," she added awkwardly. When she'd been Shilo's age, she'd taken a hit of Z. It felt a bit hypocritical to lecture about drugs considering her lifestyle. Even if she didn't actually take the drug anymore, she helped the Graverobber peddle it illegally. There were probably people dead because of her. One in particular… She shook her head. "Sorry, I drifted off. What were we talking about?"

"How drugs aren't good," Shilo offered helpfully.

"Yeah, they're not good. They're addictive and generally lead to death. So… no drugs." Olivia cleared her throat. She sounded like a moron. "Anyway, let's see if we can find a kitchen in this place."

"_Peeling off the tissue inch by inch, skinning off the muscles, too."_

"I think I just fell in love with your father." Livvy immediately turned around to face Shilo with a slightly panicked look on her face. "That was a deliberate lie in order to create amusement. There was absolutely no sincere feeling in that statement." She just smiled at her.

"Okay." It had taken a good fifteen minutes to actually find the kitchen. Shilo had felt very paranoid during that time. She expected her father to jump out at any minute although she knew he took the time she had with Livvy to work. The fact that he trusted her, even if it was only a tiny bit, was interested to Shilo. She often thought about the tolerant smile her father wore when she talked about Livvy or how Livvy just rolled her eyes and changed the subject if she ever brought up her father. She didn't know much about romance. Actually, she knew nothing about romance. Despite her lack of knowledge she liked to think that maybe the reason they were so determined not to like each other was because they already did.

Then they'd walked into the kitchen and the paranoia went away in favor of a more fascinated sense of awe as she watched Livvy gush over the kitchen. All the appliances were in stainless teal, something that delighted Livvy. Apparently the range on the stove was excellent and the size of the refrigerator had her bizarrely impressed. Shilo didn't understand a lot of what Livvy was saying. She just smiled, unused to seeing her friend this energetic and happy. In her opinion, the kitchen was very sterile. The floors were shiny, impeccable white as were the countertops. She settled down in a booth in the corner of the kitchen and contentedly watched Livvy study everything around her. Finally she'd opened up the refrigerator, which had led to her sudden declaration of love and almost as sudden retraction of said declaration.

"All this food is organic," Livvy said as she opened drawers and checked labels. "He's got to have cloned meat, though. I mean, seriously, who can afford real – Holy shit!" Shilo jumped, startled at the sudden exclamation. Livvy turned around to stare at her. "What does your dad do for a living?"

"He's a doctor," Shilo replied casually.

"And that's it?" She nodded and Livvy snorted her disbelief. She wasn't sure what was so remarkable about that. After all, doctors had to be well paid, considering all the work they did. Her dad was working almost constantly. "Well, anyway, I'm not touching the meat. That is way too pricey for my blood. I think a margherita pizza is in order here."

"A what pizza?" Shilo asked.

"It's basically a tomato, mozzarella and basil pizza. Simple but good. Oh, so good." Livvy sighed deeply, a look of hedonistic joy on her face. Shilo bit back a giggle. She wasn't all that certain about pizza but anything that made Livvy look like that deserved a chance. She stood up and peered into the refrigerator.

"Okay, so do we have all that?"

"Oh, it's going to take a lot more than that," Livvy informed her. "First we're going to make the crust. We need dry yeast, unbleached flour, salt…" She trailed off and raised her one visible eyebrow. "What are you standing around for, kid? Hop to it!"

Shilo had liked learning to stitch. She liked reading the books Livvy left for her and she liked saying all the things she couldn't say to her father. But Shilo had to be honest. While she liked those things, she loved cooking. She loved the way Livvy explained each step and how it absolutely required getting one's hands dirty. Sequestered in her room, Shilo didn't get her hands dirty much. The only thing that could possibly ruin this moment was her disease.

It was after they'd put the ball of fresh dough in a large oiled bowl, covered the top with plastic wrap and slipped it in the fridge that Shilo's bracelet went off.

"Medicine reminder!" Shilo looked around her and realized she hadn't brought her medicine downstairs with her. She paled. Livvy caught on instantly.

"Oh, crap," she muttered. "Where did you leave it?"

"It's next to my bed," she hurried to answer. The world was beginning to look a little fuzzy. Her head felt light. "It's the little bottle…" She stumbled. Livvy took her gently by the arms and lowered her down onto the cushioned bench behind the kitchen table.

"I will be back in one minute. Clock me." Shilo blinked and Livvy was already gone. She was trying to keep her breathing even. If her vitals started going crazy then her dad would definitely be alerted. She had to stay calm. Livvy would be back. She would be.

"Livvy?" she whispered. There was a sudden pounding like boots against wood and then Livvy skidded into the kitchen, her heeled boots leaving marks on the tile floor.

"I've got it." She popped the top off the bottle and handed Shilo her medication. She quickly dry-swallowed her pills. Almost instantly the disorientation went away and she was well again. "I'm sorry, Shilo. I failed you." Shilo shook her head.

"What? No, you didn't. I'm fine."

"I said I'd be back in one minute. That was at least a minute and thirty seconds." Livvy gave her a playful wink. "Lucky for you, we've got some time before we have to start cooking again. You get to have some rest whether you want it or not." Shilo nodded, disoriented again but for a different reason. She couldn't believe Livvy had made a joke about what had happened. Instead of chastising her for being careless, she'd **winked**! Her father would have had a heart attack. Her father would have been panting heavily after making such a fast run up several flights of stairs. Livvy was teasing her. Livvy was panting slightly but she looked invigorated, not exhausted. Shilo began to wonder if a mother was merely the opposite of a father. Without one there was nothing to balance out the other.

"Livvy, what was your mother like?" Livvy frowned briefly, probably confused about how the topic had changed.

"She was patient. She had to be where I was concerned. My dad and I fought like cats and dogs. She kept the peace. Don't get me wrong. I loved my father. We were just too much alike to get along well." Shilo smiled a little. So far her new theory was proving correct.

"What were you like as a teenager?"

"Trouble," Livvy replied immediately, a faint grin on her face. "Big trouble." She began to explain about how school had felt like a prison. Being forced to study things she didn't care for made her unhappy so she had escaped every chance she got. Her father shouted at her for it while her mother just gave her alternatives, such as quilting and cooking. When she was in school she got into fights of the dirtiest kind. That got worse after her parents died. Shilo ate up the details of Livvy's life.

In no time at all an hour had passed and it was time to start cooking again. Livvy picked up a knife. "Chop up the parsley in little pieces then tear the basil. Be sure to cut away from your hand." Shilo did as she was told, only pausing to stare as Livvy picked up another knife, flipped it casually and caught it by the handle. Then she started mincing onion and garlic with practiced ease.

"So this is a pizza?" Shilo asked thirty minutes later, staring as Livvy spread the sauce over the dough she'd rolled flat.

"Not yet. Here, sprinkle mozzarella and basil evenly while I check the oven."

"So this is normal?" Shilo whispered to herself as she completed her task. She was getting hungry now but she didn't want anything to eat until the pizza was done. She had a hunch that nothing would ever taste as good as something she made with Livvy.

"All right, we're ready to go," Livvy announced. She slid the pan holding their hard work into the oven and set the timer for ten minutes. "Okay, so be honest. Was this a total waste of time? Did you hate it?" Shilo blinked.

"Are you kidding? This was awesome. I'm out of my room, I cooked something and I get to eat something I've never eaten before. I loved it!" Livvy let out a relieved sigh.

"Good. I'd hate to think I've pissed off your dad for nothing."

"No, we wouldn't want that," Nathan Wallace said from the doorway, his eyes narrowed on the two women. Shilo jumped but Livvy just seemed resigned.

"Typical."


	7. Inconvenient Truth

Chapter Six

"_Out from the night, from the mist, steps a figure." _

A slender woman drifted through dark, wet alleys at a time of night no sane person would. Tight black pants clung to her legs while a long black tunic disguised whatever curves there she might have. A large duffel bag was slung over her shoulder. She was trying to escape.

Two GenCops were in pursuit, similarly dressed in black. They had specific orders. Find the girl, eliminate her and then dump her body with those of the repossessed. They had been following her for at least ten minutes. It was time to pull out their badges and make her think that she was merely being arrested. Then they would put a bullet in her head.

"Olivia Stewart!" one shouted, lifting his badge while his partner prepared to shoot. "You're under arrest for the illegal sale of organs - " She abruptly turned the corner and the GenCop swore. They chased her, making the same turn and coming upon an empty alley. Empty except for the black duffel bag resting on the ground. The GenCops drew their weapons and cautiously approached the bag. This wasn't part of the plan.

"Olivia Stewart," the other called out, his voice considerably gruffer. "Resisting arrest will make things much harder."

"Sorry," a voice as dark and soft as candle smoke whispered in the silence. "There's no Olivia here." There was movement in the shadows then a flash of light, as if reflecting off silver. One GenCop began to make choking sounds before falling to his knees.

"What the fuck?" his partner gasped, reaching out to help the struggling man. When his hand touched his throat, a flow of blood immediately soaked the fabric of his glove. "Fuck!" He saw movement again and this time managed to get a shot off before the shadow reached him. It was too dark to see, the moonlight unable to reach into the narrow alley. He heard the hiss of pain, though. He knew he'd gotten her. Then a hand gripped his gun and pushed it out of the way as a knee came up between his legs. Pain and nausea viciously stabbed through him as he fell to his knees just as his partner had. The gun was easily jerked out of his nerveless fingers. She cracked the heel of his weapon against the back of his head. He let out a grunt and fell backwards, staring numbly up at the midnight sky.

"You shot me. How absolutely inconsiderate," the voice muttered. Boot heels clicked against the street as she walked away from him to retrieve her duffel bag and then returned to his side. "Even if you only got my arm, I will have to fish a bullet out and there's nothing more inconvenient than operating on yourself. Not that you'll ever know." There were several clicking sounds before a gun was pressed against his neck. It sparked and suddenly he felt no pain. In fact, he couldn't feel anything at all.

She rocked back on her heels, dark hair flowing with the movement. Briefly a murky green eye was exposed as well as the multiple scars beneath it. She pressed a button on her bracelet. "Patient 57, be ready for surgery in exactly two hours. Bring payment." Another button was pressed and the message was sent. She let out a quiet sigh before slowly rolling her shoulders, ignoring the sting in her arm. It could wait. Her hands went into the bag, searching for gloves and a scalpel. "Now, let's see if I remember which of the intestines is the small one."

"_Oh God, what have I done to you?"_

Nathan couldn't remember the last time he'd come home to the scent of food and the sound of a woman. He'd stepped out from behind the fireplace, made sure it was closed and then was promptly thrown for a loop. There was laughter in the air, along with something that smelled warm and delicious. He cautiously sought out the source. Shilo was talking. She sounded enthusiastic and happy. For a moment he allowed himself to pretend that the last sixteen years had been a nightmare. Marni was alive and cooking with their daughter. Just for a moment.

"Good. I'd hate to think I've pissed off your dad for nothing." Olivia's voice interrupted Nathan's thoughts and he scowled.

"No, we wouldn't want that," he replied coldly. She turned slowly to look at him. Nathan still didn't know what to make of Olivia Stewart. From the moment he'd found her outside his house she had been an annoyance but also a fascinating puzzle. The curtain over the right side of her face never moved although the pin that held it all together often changed shape and color. And twenty-nine, the age Marni had been. It was foolish but he'd felt when he learned that that perhaps Marni had sent this woman to them for a reason. Now he felt that his wife would never be so vindictive, even if he had killed her.

He wanted to know what Olivia was hiding, if anything. He wanted to understand the woman he had allowed near his daughter but she defied his attempts. With him she was sarcastic, biting but also painfully honest if pressed. With Shilo, she was gentle and understanding. Another reason he'd agreed to this arrangement in the first place was because of how protective she was of his daughter. She had also been right about Shilo needing a woman to answer her questions. It pained him but the proof was staring Nathan in the face. Shilo was happier with Olivia in her life. She smiled more and complained less. He owed the woman a debt of gratitude.

That was one of the main reasons he didn't like her.

"Typical," she muttered, not in the least intimidated by his cold demeanor. Her eyes went to Shilo. "Keep an eye on the pizza will you, dear? Your father and I have to go argue for a bit." Olivia strode by him and out into the hall. Nathan let out an annoyed breath.

"Dad, wait," Shilo said, going to him. "Livvy hasn't done anything wrong. She made me sit down a lot and she wouldn't let me do any of the interesting cooking things. I'm really okay."

"I can see that, Shi. You don't need to worry. Just sit down and… keep an eye on that thing," Nathan added lamely as he looked toward the oven. Shilo did as he said although he could see she wasn't happy about it. He turned around and went after the woman who had made his life far more complicated than it needed to be.

"First off," Olivia said before he could open his mouth to speak. "I want to apologize for using your kitchen without permission. However, since the whole project was meant to entertain and feed your child I assumed you wouldn't mind terribly."

"This isn't about entertainment or nutrition," he snapped, set off as he always was by her blunt tone. "This is about taking my daughter out of her room without my permission and putting her in jeopardy."

"For God's sake, she isn't made of porcelain! Her medication was right there on the kitchen table, in case you didn't notice, and I had her sitting down constantly even though she clearly didn't need it."

"She's in a very delicate condition," Nathan began to explain but Olivia charged on.

"You have a huge house here and yet you keep her locked inside her room. She needs to come out every now and again, Mr. Wallace, or she'll go crazy."

"Call me Nathan."

"And another thing… What?" He had to struggle not to smirk at the confused expression on her face.

"We see each other regularly and we argue just as much. You can call me Nathan," he said, mostly because he could sense she didn't want to. Olivia frowned at him.

"Okay, Nathan, you can call me Livvy."

"I prefer Olivia."

"You would," she muttered. "Now I've forgotten what I was going to say."

"Good," Nathan replied. "I want to know how you got out of Shilo's locked room." Olivia suddenly got a very blank look on her face that he had come to recognize as her avoidance expression.

"You must have left it unlocked by accident," she responded casually as she began to turn away from him. Nathan gripped her arm with every intention of shaking an answer out of her when sheer pain intensified the blue of her eye and made her cheek go white. He knew pain. He inflicted it regularly, breathed it in and out. He had memorized the shape and feel of pain. There was no mistaking it in Olivia. He immediately loosened his grip.

"You're hurt." There were certain instincts that, as Nathan, he had never quite shaken. One of them was to tend to the wounded. Her long-sleeved black shirt had a series of buttons leading from the cuff to her shoulder, which he found immensely convenient. He began to swiftly unbutton her right sleeve.

"It's not a big deal, Nathan." She tried to pull away but his hands were solid. There would be no escape without tearing her shirt. "Seriously, I'm not really hurt. It's nothing." He parted the fabric away from where he'd hurt her. The first thing that registered was the neat row of stitches. Olivia pulled harder. "It's just a bruise." He glanced up with disbelief.

"You expect me to believe you stitched a bruise?" She covered the wound with her hand and somehow managed to look condescending.

"I'll admit that was overkill but it's not as if **you've** never overreacted." Nathan moved her hand so he could further study the wound.

"This was made by a bullet," he murmured, running his thumb lightly over the stitches. They were really excellent work and even more so if she did them herself. He suspected that she had. "Did you get all the bullet fragments out?"

"Believe me, no muscle tissue was left un-prodded," Olivia said dryly. "Mind letting go now?" He looked up to meet her eye.

"What have you gotten yourself into?" She scowled.

"How is this automatically my fault? For all you know I was just taking a walk when someone shot at me. Christ, just because I take your daughter out of her room to make some fucking pizza doesn't mean I'm a wanted felon, darting through alleys and evading the authorities."

"All right, all right," Nathan said, turning his eyes back to her arm. The wound was far friendlier than the look on Olivia's face at the moment.

"Would you let go of my arm already?" she demanded, trying to jerk away. It was bad-tempered and childish but Nathan decided not to let go simply to annoy her. "Oh, you jerk." She caught on fast to the true spirit of his stubbornness and retaliated by tugging hard at his ear with her free hand.

"Ow!" He locked a hand around the wrist that was attacking him while keeping a grip on her arm, albeit below the injured part. "Let go."

"You let go," she retorted. The pressure on his ear was both annoying and painful but instead of being practical he merely lashed out.

"Don't be a child," he snapped at her. Her blue eye blazed.

"Oh, I'm a child? You're the one who started it!" She kicked his ankle. He let out a pained hiss before pushing her back against the wall.

"Dammit, that hurt," Nathan growled.

"You deserved it, you…" she trailed off and he looked up to see what had distracted her. That's when he noticed it, too. The way they were standing, the way he was pressed against her… It didn't feel like a childish fight anymore. Nathan could smell the dough that lingered on her fingers and something deeper than that, something he smelled on a daily basis. Death.

His fingers had loosened on her wrist when she had released his ear. For a reason unknown to him, Nathan's hand moved gently down her arm until his fingers curled around her shoulder. She had moved her hand as well. It rested at the base of his neck, brushing against his hair. "Nathan," she murmured, her voice a combination of stunned and fascinated. "What is happening here?"

"I'm not sure," he whispered. They continued to stare at each other, bewildered.

"Livvy, is the pizza supposed to bubble?" Shilo's voice inquired. She stepped into the hallway then froze, eyes darting between her father and her friend. The smile that immediately curved her lips startled Nathan the most. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Pretend I wasn't here. Just… keep going." She darted back into the kitchen and there was no mistaking her excited giggle.

Olivia was out of his arms without delay. His arms. God, that's where she had been, wasn't it? How in the hell had it come to that?

"I'll go," she was saying through the confused fog he was experiencing. "I'll just grab my jacket and go."

"The… the pizza," Nathan said, fumbling for the words.

"It's okay, you guys enjoy it. Er, tell Shilo an emergency came up or something." Olivia turned to flee and Nathan barely got his head back into working order in time.

"Wait, wait just a moment," he insisted. She paused reluctantly. "Olivia, you should know that although I'm sure you have many unique charms I - "

"I know where you're going with this," she interrupted quickly. "Don't worry. I'm not remotely interested." Nathan blinked, a little taken aback by the firmness in her voice. Then his ego took a moment to process the comment.

"Thank you," he murmured flatly. Olivia got a puzzled look on her face before her lips slowly curled into a smirk.

"So there's a little vanity in the selfless, devoted father?" This seemed to amuse her. "Well, rest assured, you're still cute." Nathan was forced to blink slowly yet again.

"Cute?" Olivia carried on with what she was saying, ignoring his question.

"I mean, you're attractive for an older man but you're not my type. And besides that, there wouldn't be any point to it." She began walking away once more but something forced her to look back. Something forced her to add, "I enjoy a little competition but I have no intention of competing against a ghost."


	8. Not As It Seems

Chapter Seven

"_Old grudges, scorned lovers, sometimes I wonder why we all don't move on."_

The Graverobber could still remember what he had thought when he first met Olivia Stewart. He'd been peddling Z on the street for four years at that point and he'd come to understand his customers. There was a 'rebel' group from the schools that liked to get a hit of zydrate every now and again so they could feel cool. Most of those kids would never do Z after that, while some of them would get hooked and be dead within a few years. Then there were the very few that would merge their lives with zydrate and survive to at least their thirties if something else didn't kill them first. The Graverobber could always tell who those people were. It was in the eyes.

Olivia, or Livvy, had come with a gaggle of Goths into his alley. At first glance she blended in fairly well with the brooding teenagers. Then he saw the right side of her face and blending became impossible. He knew he had a sale the second those scars came into view. He knew he'd met someone he'd know for years when her eyes met his. Olivia didn't have the eyes of a rebel teen looking for a little drug adventure. For one, she was genetically flawed. One eye was lightning blue while the other was a murky green. For another, both eyes were shining with rage. It was a kind of anger that didn't die quickly or easily.

Thinking that she would be a customer of his for a long, long time, he gave her a hit for free. Free first hits were a good policy since it brought people back and he never forgot a face. Not for the last time, Olivia surprised him. She was the second person in his career to suffer an extreme allergic reaction to zydrate. Almost immediately she fell to the ground, convulsing hard. Her fair-weather friends fled and he was left with a decision. He could take her to the nearest hospital or he could leave her. She was lucky. If she'd met him ten years later, he would have left her in a dumpster. Nothing personal, just practical. There was no reason for him to expose himself for some angst-ridden kid. But he did it then and she lived.

His next surprise came a week later, at night. He was in a graveyard, doing what he did best, when he stumbled on the same scrawny, angry kid he'd nearly killed. She'd stared up at him with those mismatched eyes and asked if he needed a lookout. Years later, he still wondered why he'd said yes. It turned out to be a good thing later on but he couldn't have possibly known that then. He guessed it had to do with guilt. He had only been nineteen after all. His ability to feel guilt hadn't completely vanished. Besides, it hadn't been a bad deal. She would watch his back as he worked for a tiny fraction of his profits.

As the weeks passed, he learned things about Olivia Stewart. She was fourteen years old and the scars on her face were so screaming red because she'd torn out the stitches a couple of times. Deliberately. She didn't talk about why. Occasionally she'd mention her aunt and uncle, of whom she had a very low opinion. It was nearly two months before she'd talk about her father. He'd died when she was thirteen. Without a donor or money for transplants, his lung failure killed him. It took six months for Olivia to mention her mother.

"She had a heart transplant a couple months before my dad was diagnosed. We were having a hard time making those payments. Once dad couldn't work anymore, things got worse. I didn't know." The two of them were sitting on top of a dumpster while she talked. The Graverobber remembered her dirty fingernails beating a rhythm against her thigh. He never talked much, not about things that mattered, so he rarely commented about her life story. He just memorized. "My mom was ninety days delinquent on her payment a few months after dad died but I didn't know. One night I had this stupid idea about sleeping in the graveyard so I could spend all night telling my father how I was sorry about being such a disappointment, how I'd try harder from then on. I chickened out about twenty minutes after I left the apartment. So I went back. She… She was repossessed."

It didn't explain the scars. The Graverobber waited for the rest of the story, waited another two months. He might have waited longer if he hadn't nearly been shot. A GenCop had caught him, an event that happened from time to time. Olivia had beaten him over the head with an Encyclopedia she was reading for fun. Even after the cop had dropped, she kept beating him. The Graverobber had had to drag her out of that graveyard. She'd cried harder than he'd seen anyone cry then apologized for not seeing the GenCop in the first place. "It's my job to look out for you and I failed. I'm useless," she'd whispered, refusing to look at him. It didn't take long for him to figure out she wasn't really talking about him anymore.

Olivia Stewart's mother had not been dead when Olivia came home that night. She'd been alive, struggling and screaming. A Repo Man had come to repossess her heart. Olivia had started throwing anything she could lift. Every dish in the kitchen was shattered against the tall, black figure. She even managed to hit him with a chair before he picked her up by the back of the neck and threw her through the glass door that opened onto the balcony. She remembered that shards of glass sliced into the right side of her face but after that there was nothing. She heard later that she'd been found hours after the fact, that maybe if someone had responded faster she wouldn't be as badly scarred as she was. If.

The Graverobber knew all about Livvy. His drugs paid for the medical books she'd memorized. His connections had gotten her the job in the morgue. The two of them had a bizarre friendship of drugs, cutting truths and sarcasm. So when she asked him a blunt question, he wasn't afraid to answer it.

"Why aren't we in love?" The Graverobber looked up from the corpse he was extracting zydrate from and toward Livvy. Her mouth looked like she'd been savaging it with her teeth, a sure sign of frustration. He shrugged at her question.

"I guess the sex wasn't that great." She rolled her eyes.

"It's not as if we'd remember. We were both completely wasted at the time," she replied flatly. It had been her eighteenth birthday and her only wish was for alcohol. He barely remembered that night either, so she had a point about the quality of the sex not mattering. "It's just that we've known each other for about sixteen years. We're closer to each other than anyone else. I'm the only living person you talk to regularly. It would make sense for us to have a romantic relationship."

"It would make perfect sense," he agreed, sliding the body back into its refrigerated spot and closing the door. "That's probably why we aren't intimate. Romance isn't about sense. Generally it's the polar opposite of sense."

"You're right about that," she muttered, staring moodily at the floor. The Graverobber studied her and realized she was the picture of a sexually frustrated woman. It made him grin.

"So who's the guy?" Livvy jerked.

"What?"

"The guy you wish you weren't interested in but are anyway," he explained casually. She glared at him.

"There isn't a guy."

"You don't get out much and when you do you aren't exactly sociable so… Aha! The kid's father, right? Isn't he in his forties or something? I didn't know you liked them aged," he teased. Livvy's face had turned bright red, confirming his every theory.

"I'm not interested in Nathan Wallace. Never have been, never will be, not in a thousand years. Never!" she snapped.

"Protesting a bit much, aren't you?" he asked with a smirk. Livvy shrieked her frustration, turning quickly on her heel and storming out. The Graverobber continued to smirk. So Livvy had her eye on a man. God help him.

"_I wish we could have watched together."_

The next time Olivia went to the Wallace house, it was Halloween. It had occurred to Olivia that Shilo would get a kick out of the holiday. She had stuffed her bag with make-up, candy, a few scary movies and the makings of a witch costume. Olivia, naturally, had also dressed up. The plan that had struck her as brilliant at one point no longer seemed so great once she realized that Nathan was going to see her in all her Halloween glory. Of course, she only figured that out when she walked up to his front door.

"Er, trick or treat?" she joked weakly. Olivia saw his eyes widen significantly behind his glasses. It wasn't exactly an admiring look, either. "What? It's Halloween. People still dress up for Halloween."

"You realize you look like a… a…" Nathan struggled to finish his sentence. She knew he was making an attempt at being polite and failing badly. She took pity on him.

"A dark fairy? Yeah, that was the point." Olivia slipped past him and took a moment to reassess her outfit. It probably wasn't the black lace up thigh high stockings or her high-heeled boots that had made Nathan think she had given up her job at the morgue for something more lucrative. The cinched purple velvet corset might have, although she didn't have much cleavage showing. It was probably the matching mini skirt with all the lace ribbons. She'd never shown this much leg around Shilo before so it was natural for her father to get a little concerned. She turned around to possibly apologize for not warning him about her enthusiasm for Halloween. Instead she stared at him. He was staring, too, so she wasn't alone. The problem was that he was staring at her legs while she was staring at his expression. It was dangerously like the one he'd had when the awkwardness in the hallway arose last week. She cleared her throat. "Nathan?"

"Huh?" The fact that he sounded like a stunned teenager finally sank in for Nathan. He cleared his throat and looked away from her. "Did you need something?"

"Just thought I should get permission for Shilo to watch some scary movies with me," Olivia said, deciding not to apologize after all. Nathan nodded absently.

"Yes, of course. I'll just be - "

"Working," she supplied, smiling briefly. "I'll look after Shilo." She walked up the stairs and it took everything she had not to look back to see if Nathan was watching again. She assured herself that she didn't want to know. She just wasn't sure if she believed it or not.

"Oh, my God, Livvy! You look amazing," Shilo squealed. She was clearly ecstatic about the new look but she had an ulterior motive. "Dad saw you in this, right? Your coat wasn't buttoned or anything, was it?" Damn! Why hadn't Olivia thought of doing that?

"No, it wasn't. And yes, he saw me. He saw enough of me to last a lifetime," she added dryly. A matchmaking Shilo was the last thing either Olivia or Nathan needed. Best not to encourage her. "So don't I get a 'Happy Halloween'?"

"Oh, right, it's Halloween today," Shilo said. Olivia widened her eyes dramatically.

"You do not honor this most fun and funky of holidays? Sacrilege!" She took Shilo by the arm and sat her down in a nearby chair. "Luckily for you, I came prepared for the worst. We'll get you all made up in no time. How much do you know about make-up?"

"Everything except… I'm not much good at eye shadow," she admitted as though this were a sin of the highest order. Olivia just grinned.

"We'll soon have that fixed."

They spent an hour fussing over Shilo's costume and make-up. It wouldn't have taken nearly that long except Shilo wanted to know exactly how Olivia had made her eyes look so smoky. She taught her how to curve the brush and how exactly to blend one color with another. Finally she got the teenager into her costume, which included a short black cape, a witch's hat and a spider web necklace. Shilo spun around in the middle of the room, skirt billowing out around her.

"Happy Halloween!" she declared, experimenting with a cackle. It didn't sound right so she just settled with giggling. Olivia smiled.

"You make a very pretty witch, Shilo Wallace. Very pretty indeed." Shilo's smile faded as she looked past Olivia at the portrait of her mother on the wall.

"You mean I look like her," she murmured. Olivia didn't hear any pride or longing in that statement. What she heard was jealousy and resentment. "Dad says I look just like her." Olivia let out a sigh. Yes, there was a lot of resentment there.

"I look like my mother, too," she told Shilo as she walked over to the bed and pushed the plastic curtain out of the way so she could sit down. "It's hard, sometimes, not to constantly compare myself to her. I know I'm not the woman she was. I won't ever be. But, then again, I'm not a corpse and she is. I have to remember that difference or I won't be able to look in the mirror."

"Compared to a corpse," Shilo whispered. "Yeah. I get that." Another piece of the puzzle that made up Shilo fell into place for Olivia then. Shilo didn't just want her around because she was a woman. She wanted her because she'd never known her mother. She wanted to be around Shilo only because she was Shilo and not because she looked like a dead woman.

"I get the feeling that you're in the mood for a gory movie," Olivia said, not so subtly changing the subject. Shilo grinned.

"You bet! Did you bring some?" Olivia gestured at her bag and Shilo went to investigate.

"I brought several movies along with a few bags of candy. Of course, depending on the movie, we may not want the candy."

"Wow, this is a really old one. Can we watch this?" Olivia winced when she saw the movie Shilo was holding up.

"No candy, then." Shilo's television was pretty small but to the two girls curled up on the bed with candy spread in front of them, it was just the right size. _Saw _was exactly what Shilo wanted to watch and she had no problem holding down her candy despite the gore. Olivia shielded her eyes for most of the film.

"Come on, Olivia, nothing's even happening right now. It's safe to look at the screen," Shilo cajoled, elbowing the older woman. Olivia kept her hand over her eyes.

"That's just what they want you to think. It lulls you into a false sense of security." Shilo snickered.

"For someone who works at a morgue, you're a real wimp." Olivia waited until something violent happened in the movie that captured Shilo's attention before replying,

"You should meet my other personality."


	9. Cutting It Close

Chapter Eight

"_Harvesting the kidneys for the fall, storing up the livers in the fridge."_

Olivia liked to think she was prepared for anything but, really, who was ever prepared for someone to run at them with a three-pound turkey? It was hardly something she'd prepared for on a daily basis. Still, three weeks after the Halloween success, Olivia was met at the door not by a disapproving Nathan but by an extremely enthusiastic Shilo holding a wrapped turkey that was dripping with condensation. Apparently it had been frozen at some point but was currently thawing out.

"Livvy, look what dad got us!" Olivia had a nagging suspicion that this had once been a live turkey instead of just cloned meat but she resolutely pushed it aside. She would be afraid to touch it otherwise.

"Very impressive, Shilo. Now let's get the dead bird to a sink so it stops dripping on the carpet," she said lightly, scooping the turkey out of Shilo's arms and kicking the door shut with her foot. "Why do you guys have a turkey, by the way?"

"What? You don't celebrate the most thankful of holidays?" Shilo gasped dramatically, wicked humor in her eyes. "Sacrilege!"

"Okay, okay. I'm old enough to know when I'm being mocked. But you guys do know that Thanksgiving isn't until next week, right?" she asked as they walked into the kitchen together, vaguely noticing the sound of Blind Mag's music floating out.

"Shilo insisted on having it early since you wouldn't be with us for the actual day," Nathan informed her casually as he set the timer on the oven. Olivia, for once, had a moment to observe Nathan without being observed in return. It was only for a few seconds but she needed those seconds to make her brain reboot. He wore casual light tan slacks and a long-sleeved blue shirt he had rolled up to his elbows. She'd never actually seen his arms before this. She knew they were firm from experience but the visual proof was a little hypnotic. There was something about the way his long, large hands connected to capable muscled arms that made Olivia pause and fight not to remember the dream she'd had a few nights ago. It involved Nathan slowly rolling down the thigh high stockings she'd worn for Halloween, kissing her leg as he stripped it, slipping his hand further up her thigh.

"You in there, Livvy?" Olivia blinked several times at the sound of Shilo's voice and thanked God that Nathan hadn't turned around to see her practically drooling over him. There was something seriously wrong with her hormones this week. He was cute but he was nowhere near obsession-worthy. She let out a slow breath.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just zoned there for a minute." Olivia put the turkey in the sink where it could thaw in peace. "So what tasks am I being assigned?" she asked as she tugged off her jacket.

"Dad's in charge. Oh, I'll take care of that," Shilo said, quickly taking the jacket out of Olivia's hands and running out to hang it up.

"Shi, no running!" Nathan shouted after her. Olivia bit back a chuckle at the aggrieved expression on his face.

"Well, boss, I'm impressed. Letting her out of her room and accommodating my schedule? Either you've been brainwashed or Shilo's nagging finally wore you down."

"It was a combination of both," Nathan replied dryly. "Now, how do you feel about peeling potatoes?"

"Ah, potatoes, the fruit of famine, faithful and flexible food… Way too much alliteration," Olivia mumbled, shaking her head. "I'm a highly skilled potato peeler but you should shut me up if I start trying to wax poetic. It will only end in tears."

"You have my word," Nathan promised solemnly. It was only the shadow of a wink that let Olivia know he was kidding.

"Why does she have your word?" Shilo asked as she reentered the kitchen.

"Nothing important," Olivia said, accepting the peeler Nathan handed her and avoiding skin contact at the same time. "What job do you have in all this cooking?"

"I get to watch and listen to my music," she told her, disappointment obvious. Olivia bit her lip as she pulled the first potato out of the bag. Nathan had already bent about a lot of things. If they kept pushing at him, he might snap back into his old self. But maybe a teeny, tiny thing…

"Well, since we're cooking, you'll be in charge of setting the table," Olivia decided, keeping her eyes on the potato in her hand so she wouldn't have to see Nathan's expression.

"I've never actually set a table before," Shilo said uncertainly.

"It's not hard. I'm sure your dad will explain it to you when the time comes. Right, Nathan?" She did look at him then. His eyes were narrowed at her.

"Will I?"

"After all the cooking we're going to have to do, it's only fair that Shilo set the table. Wouldn't you agree?" she asked, trying to communicate her real meaning. She wanted to tell him that Shilo deserved to feel like she'd contributed something, that she was old enough to actually do things rather than let the adults handle it. Nathan stared at her a moment, grimaced and then nodded.

"Yes, I suppose I'd have to agree." Olivia looked quickly away so she could indulge in a satisfied grin without ruffling his feathers. Nathan used the pretense of reaching for a potato to lean over and murmur, "I saw that smile."

"It's your fault for looking," she countered, not letting his observance throw off her peeling rhythm. He cut the eyes out of the potato with a small knife.

"You did your fair share of looking when you first got here." The peeler slipped out of her hand and nearly tumbled into the drain before she caught it. Olivia glared at him, one blue eye livid. "The oven door reflects," he explained, gesturing with the knife at the shiny surface. She grunted and went back to peeling. "You looked very distracted."

"Can we just not talk about it?" Nathan chuckled softly and Olivia fought the urge to go after him with the vegetable peeler.

"Now, how did you put it before? Ah, yes, I remember. Don't worry. I'm not **remotely **interested," he said with eyes full of an emotion that certainly looked interested. Olivia couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. Had he been drinking all morning? He was never this, well, flirty. If she didn't know any better she'd think he was doing it deliberately just to set her on edge. Olivia paused. Wait… She glanced at his face, noted his satisfied expression. And glowered. He was a sneaky bastard.

"What are you guys whispering about?" Shilo asked, distracted from Mag's pure soprano voice. Olivia glanced over her shoulder.

"Oh, I was just making a radical suggestion to your dad." Both Shilo and Nathan shot her a confused look.

"Really? What about?"

"This may sound extreme but I think everyone here is pretty brave," Olivia said, feigning a concerned look. "Shilo, what do you think about… **garlic **mashed potatoes?"

As the day wore on, she was surprised to find that she could laugh with Nathan only a few feet away. She was even more surprised when he was the one who made her laugh. The fact that she felt a subtle pleasure whenever she managed to make him smile was also a source of concern. Of course, the Graverobber wasn't right about her liking him. She was beginning to tolerate him but liking him was probably several weeks away, if not months.

Olivia commandeered the turkey before Nathan could get at it. She'd decided to be in charge of that particular dish when she learned that, like her mother, Nathan didn't actually cook the dressing in the turkey. He probably knew that it increased the likelihood of food poisoning, too. She washed the bird off as she chatted with Shilo about the latest broadcasted performance by Mag. Olivia enjoyed the once blind singer's voice and it was a topic Shilo enjoyed. "You use the giblets for the gravy, don't you?" she asked Nathan, holding out aforementioned bird parts. He nodded and accepted them from her hand.

"You quilt, you read, Shilo says you have a good hand with make-up and we already know you can make delicious pizza. Now it seems you know how to cook a turkey as well. What don't you do?" Olivia snickered while inserting slices of lemon between the skin of the turkey and the meat.

"Well, I can't dance," she said, breaking up sprigs of sage and thyme and adding them with the lemon. "I've never actually made a soufflé so I'm probably no good at that. Oh, and winking with just one eye is never as good as with two." There was an awkward pause and Olivia immediately regretted her choice of weaknesses.

"So… the other eye doesn't work?" Shilo asked tentatively. Olivia couldn't bring herself to snap at the concern on the teen's face.

"It's fine," she responded briefly. "Anyway, where's the tin foil? I need to cover this bird up before I pop him in the oven."

"This drawer," Nathan told her before studying the turkey with a frown. "Aren't you going to flip it over?"

"Nope. You're more likely to get a dry turkey if you don't have it cooking on its back," she informed him as she secured the foil around the bird in its pan. She glanced up at Shilo. "Commit that to memory, young lady. Some cooking tips should always be remembered." Olivia winked, waited for Nathan to open up the oven for her and then slipped the turkey inside.

Several hours later Olivia watched over the cooking food as Nathan walked Shilo through the steps of setting a table. Everything looked good so far and nothing had caught fire. The turkey had come out perfectly with plenty of juice for the gravy. She had allowed Nathan to carve the pieces he wanted, which were currently waiting to be consumed on a plate beneath tin foil to keep in the heat. The dressing smelled fantastic, the mashed potatoes looked extra fluffy and the steamed green beans were making her hungry. Fresh vegetables had that affect on her. Olivia briefly thought of wine but she rejected it immediately. Drinking around the underage kid was probably not going to fly with Nathan. Maybe he had sparkling cider or something nonalcoholic like that. With Nathan, she could never be sure.

He was cute. Damned cute, if she was honest. There was an edge to the cuteness, too, which really made him more than cure. It made him handsome. Olivia shifted uncomfortably. Thinking of Shilo's father as handsome wasn't safe ground to be on. She would be wise if she just put those thoughts out of her head.

Olivia went to the door of the dining room and watched the small Wallace family set the table. It was a nice room, the table a rich dark wood with a glass top. That certainly made it easier to clean. The walls were a deep burgundy, the wood floors covered by a rug that could probably stand to be vacuumed a few times. Still, the crystal chandelier warmed the place up and made it seem almost welcoming. She smiled as she noticed Nathan straightening the forks after Shilo set them down. His compulsiveness was almost kind of cute in this light. The two of them looked right together, father and daughter, their very own family unit. Then Shilo looked up at her and grinned.

"Hey, Livvy! What do you think?"

"I'm overwhelmed, Shilo. You were clearly born to set tables," she teased, hoping to be rewarded with a giggle. Shilo didn't disappoint her. Olivia then stepped into the room and as she did so she realized what was happening. She was becoming a part of the Wallace family unit. She felt the color drain out of her face as she looked to Nathan. He'd gone still beside his daughter. Olivia knew he felt it, too. She quickly took a step back. "I better get back to the food before the kitchen explodes or something." She tried not to run back to the kitchen counter but she certainly hustled. Olivia leaned over the sink, breathing deeply.

A family. Her family. No, bad things happened to her families. She could handle being a guest star in the Wallace house. Anything else wouldn't work. Maybe if she was just Olivia, just a morgue attendant who had a weird relationship with a drug dealer, she could be more in Shilo's life. But she wasn't. She lifted her hand and deliberately eased her fingers under the curtain of hair over her right cheek. Hard ridges of skin brushed against the tips of her fingers as she explored the pattern of scars.

She was a murderer, a monster. There were people lying in open graves because of her. Olivia was a decent person but the other… The other felt not an ounce of regret for anything she'd done. She moved her hand away from her face and closed her eyes. Shilo deserved better. Olivia would be more careful about how she interacted with the Wallace family. She would respect boundaries.

"Olivia?" She turned toward Nathan's voice, shaking her head to clear her thoughts.

"Yes?" she asked lightly. He wasn't fooled by her tone for a minute. It was beginning to worry her, just how easily he read her emotions.

"Shilo mentioned that you lost your family," he began gently, moving slowly toward her with a subtle grace he'd never bothered to use with her before now. "It must be hard this time of year for you." This was the Nathan Shilo got to see nearly all the time. The gentle, giving Nathan who only wanted to be comforting was a temptation Olivia hadn't expected. And it was tempting.

"Yeah, it can be a little difficult at times. But I'm fine," she assured him. "All in one piece and not a tear to be seen." She cleared her throat. "Besides, it's got to be rough for you, too." Nathan smiled but there wasn't any humor in it.

"I believe that's your way of changing the subject," he pointed out. She shrugged.

"Maybe. Maybe I'm just being considerate," she countered gently. He leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest.

"If that is the case then… Yes. Yes, it is rough." Olivia nodded slightly as she tilted her head to stare up at the ceiling. She wondered how she'd gotten into this regretful, bitter frame of mind.

"Do you ever feel like that even though you loved them so much and you miss them every day, you wouldn't want them to come back? Like if they saw who you are now, you wouldn't be able to bear it?" Nathan just stared. He didn't move or speak. She wasn't even sure if he was breathing anymore. Olivia felt like an idiot. Of course he wanted his wife back. And what did he have to be ashamed of except a little overprotective fathering? "Sorry, that was a stupid thing to say. I'm feeling maudlin." Nathan still didn't speak and Olivia worked up just a tiny bit of resentment. Was it really necessary to make her feel like a freak? "Well, we'd better start serving up the food before it gets cold," she said decisively. "Hey, Shilo, every set in there!"

"I think I've got it!" the teen called back. Olivia smiled.

"Good. It's time to eat." The three of them ate together, both focusing on Shilo.

Olivia didn't know just how close to the truth she'd gotten.


	10. Mischief

Chapter Nine

"_Say that you once bought a heart or new corneas…"_

Olivia checked the IV, staring carefully at the plastic bag of fluids. Connected to the fluids by a needle was a twenty-year-old woman with short blonde hair and a narrow face. The room around the patient and Olivia was sterile and white. She pulled the crisp white sheets gently away from the patient's body then rolled up her nightgown to check the stitches across her abdomen. Everything was still neat and in its place. She sighed quietly, moving to cover the woman again. A small hand gripped hers. Olivia looked up into the patient's dark brown eyes.

"Can you tell her thank you?" she whispered. Olivia nodded her assurance as she tucked the sheets around the woman's shoulders. "I owe her so much for this."

"Your husband already paid for the surgery," Olivia reminded her, deciding to deliberately misinterpret her meaning. The blonde smiled faintly.

"I would be dead if it wasn't for her. We couldn't begin to afford Geneco's prices." Olivia nodded. She'd heard this story a hundred times. People who barely made enough to live on were forced into Geneco's organ financing program, draining them of their money. Or worse. The worst part was that Geneco targeted the poor because they could never pay the company back entirely. They would make regular payments until they died. There were alternatives but none of the black market companies dared to work in the city so close to Geneco.

Until Mercy.

"You need to rest now so your husband can take you home," Olivia told her gently. The woman nodded vaguely.

"But could you tell me what she's like? No one knows her but you."

"There's nothing you need to know," she replied firmly. It was time to leave the woman to her rest. Olivia headed for the door but was forced to pause by the woman's next words.

"I almost remember her face." The blonde ran her fingers over her right cheek. She stared at the wall as if she could see something there. "Green eye. She looked so empty." Olivia tugged open the door and hurried out into the hallway. There was silence in that sparsely decorated hall, carpet silencing her footsteps. The only thing on the wall was a mirror. That was the very last thing she wanted to see.

The zydrate the Graverobber gave her was not just to ease the pain of those who underwent surgery in her morgue. The drug affected the memories of those under its influence. That way when Mercy operated, hair pulled back and face bare, no one could remember exactly what she looked like. The woman in recovery was still a little under the influence. In no time she'd forget even those vague details.

Olivia paused in front of the mirror even though she didn't want to. Her blue eye studied the curtain over the right side of her face. Mercy. It was the Graverobber's fault that she even had a name. He had seen the shape of an 'M' in the configuration of her scars and the name had stuck. Olivia smiled bitterly. It was such a misnomer. There was no mercy to her other side, only a ruthless efficiency.

**And you thought you could be normal**. Olivia closed her eyes against that rogue thought. The last thing she needed was a conversation with herself. Well, technically, it was a conversation with her other self. **You'd like to think that**.

"Shut up," she whispered, turning away from the mirror.

**It's funny how hard you try to separate us. But the Olivia who plays mother to Shilo is the same as the Mercy who kills people in alleys. Does that terrify you?**

"I said shut up," Olivia snarled. A quiet chuckle whispered through her parted lips and she abruptly shut her mouth.

**We aren't Jekyll and Hyde, Livvy. You choose to be me**. Olivia swung her fist that the mirror and it shattered. Glass shredded her knuckles, bloodied shards falling to the ground.

"Oh, yes, brilliantly done, Livvy," she hissed in a self-deprecating tone. "Get into an argument and punch something sharp. Clearly the best course of action." She turned away from the mess of glass and strode down the hall. Perhaps later when she'd bandaged her hand and felt less like a sociopath, she'd clean up.

"_Experiment with something living."_

Shilo didn't know how but she had to get her dad and Livvy together. There were a lot of reasons and all of them were good. For one thing, it would get Livvy around more often. If things went really well then she might even move in. That was a selfish motivation on Shilo's part but she did have reason's that benefited them, too. They were clearly sexually interested in each other. She might be sixteen but she wasn't blind. When she'd walked in on her father and Livvy against a wall, the attraction had been obvious. Shilo had worried a little that her dad would never get over Marni and that it would keep him from seeing that Livvy was a pretty, living woman. The events of Thanksgiving had completely rid her of that concern. The way they'd whispered and laughed together screamed 'made for each other'. Sure they argued a little. That just added spice to the relationship.

What Shilo needed was a plan. She had to find a way to get Livvy and her dad alone together without wanting to find a distraction. Of course, the only thing they did alone together was argue and that wasn't any good. Then again, the last time they'd argued her father had looked like he was an inch from kissing Livvy. Maybe arguing really was the way to go.

It took her a few days to construct exactly what she would say to her father that would inevitably spark an argument. Finally she had it. About an hour before Livvy would show up at the gate, Shilo was playing chess with her father. It had become a habit for him to spend time with her before Livvy got there. She figured it was because he didn't want to feel left out of her life. For most of her childhood Shilo never knew just how lonely her dad was. Now she was beginning to figure it out. Hopefully with her help, he wouldn't be so lonely anymore.

"Um, dad?" she asked tentatively as he captured one of her pawns. "Could I ask you something?"

"Of course you can, Shi," he said, glancing up at her anxious face. "You know you can ask me anything."

"I just wondered if you were looking after yourself. I mean, it's not like you're ancient or anything but you are older and your health is important," Shilo rambled as she made a rather stupid move with her bishop. He captured it a moment later with a fond smile on his face.

"I'm perfectly healthy, Shilo. What brought this on?" She stared at the board, considering.

"Well, I was talking to Livvy last week and she said some things that worried me." This was only partly true. They had talked last week about a certain subject but she hadn't immediately thought of her father. She'd thought of him later when she concocted this whole plan.

"What sort of things?" She heard the frown in his voice as she made her next move. Shilo pretended to be hesitant about what she said next so he wouldn't get suspicious.

"Sex, mostly." He cleared his throat.

"Oh?" She nodded quickly, meeting his eyes.

"The thing is there are a ton of things that could kill you and sex actually works to prevent some of them. It strengthens the immune system and it's great exercise. Plus, did you know that a guy who has sex twice a week greatly reduces the risk of a fatal heart attack? I mean, it's a seriously good thing but you don't have sex. Don't get me wrong. I don't want to think about you and… all that. But what if you drop dead because you were too busy looking after me to get a girlfriend?" She'd never seen her dad's eyes that wide. He looked as though she'd hit him with a shovel. It was almost worth talking about sex in front of him to see his stunned expression.

"Did you talk to… to Olivia about this?" he asked faintly. She shrugged.

"Well, we didn't talk about you specifically. It was mostly just girl talk with some facts throw in. That's what Livvy said anyway. She said it was normal for women to talk about sex a lot since they either aren't getting any or they're not getting the right kind." Her dad started coughing violently then. She reached over to pat his back, deeply concerned. She'd wanted to get him annoyed at Livvy, not coughing up a lung. "Dad?"

"It's nothing, Shi," he assured her, gently squeezing her hand. Then his cheeks flushed as what they had previously been discussing came back to him. "You don't have to worry about my, er, health. I'm in fine shape without… all that."

"Are you sure?" Shilo asked uncertainly. "Maybe we should ask Livvy if she knows anyone - "

"No!" he exclaimed, hastily cutting her off. "No, I'm fine. Now, uh, why don't you clean up while I go check to see if Olivia's here."

"But dad," Shilo began but he didn't hear her as he fled the room. "She won't be here for another twenty minutes at least." She waited a few seconds before grinning. If that didn't get Livvy and her dad to argue, nothing would.

"_Can't get it up if the girl's breathing?"_

Olivia had no idea what was waiting for her as she walked up the steps to the front door. She was digging in her bag to make sure she'd remembered to bring extra thread. Shilo had started her very own quilt and Olivia wanted to have everything she needed on hand. Since she was looking down, she didn't see Nathan's face when he opened the door.

"Hey there," she said casually, relieved when she saw the extra spool of thread. Then she was jerked into the house and the relieved feeling went away. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's with the manhandling?"

"Do you know what my daughter asked me before you got here?" he demanded with a scowl. Olivia stared blankly at him.

"How the hell should I know? I just got here."

"She asked about my sexual health." Olivia choked, eyes snapping wide open. She would absolutely not think about Nathan and the word sex in the same sentence. No thoughts. No thoughts at all.

"Well, then. You've had an eventful day," she commented lightly. His scowl deepened.

"She asked because you put the idea in her head."

"I did not!" she protested, trying very hard not to sputter.

"Did you or did you not have a talk about sex with Shilo?" he questioned. She shifted from foot to foot, glancing away from his face.

"Oh, that. Well, yes we did discuss it a little," she admitted.

"It seems you discussed it at some length." Olivia decided that the only way she could keep her mind out of the gutter during this talk was to never look him directly in the eye. She went instead to the coat rack and set down her back as she pulled off her jacket.

"She was curious," Olivia defended.

"And you thought it appropriate to discuss all the health benefits for men?" he demanded. She rolled her eyes.

"There are benefits for both parties and I mentioned both. I'm an equal opportunity girl." She hung her coat up in the rack and then proceeded to straighten out the wrinkles.

"From now on you should consider not mentioning either," Nathan said in a voice that made it clear that he wasn't suggesting so much as ordering.

"She's a hormonal teenager. The subject will come up from time to time." Then she added something very stupid to the argument, "Just because you're sexually dead doesn't mean she isn't interested." Olivia felt like smacking herself the second it came out of her mouth.

"Excuse me?" he growled. She turned around to apologize but one look at his dangerous green eyes had her fumbling for words. The growl certainly hadn't helped her frame of mind.

"Uh, that didn't come out right," she mumbled, stepping back as he approached her. She had to stop when her head bumped against the coat rack. When he reached up and removed his glasses, Olivia felt an irrational surge of panic.

"Shilo mentioned something else you told her," he said quietly. His voice had deepened into something dangerous and wicked. She inched away from the coat rack, ending up against the wall instead. It wasn't much of an improvement. She tried to move a little further away but Nathan fenced her in with his arms.

"Oh?" she squeaked. Olivia glanced at his hands on the wall, long fingers splayed against wallpaper. Those hands would catch her long before she tried to duck under his arms. She was stuck. He casually set his glasses down on the table beneath the coat rack before circling her throat with his right hand.

"You told her that women talk about sex because they either aren't getting any or they're not getting the right kind." There was something inherently sinful about Nathan saying 'getting any' in that harsh, growling voice. His thumb skimmed her jaw. "Tell me, Olivia, which is it for you?" She stared at him with wide eyes. This wasn't scaring her nearly as much as it should be. What concerned her was the fact that a very dark part of her was responding to Nathan. Something about his eyes, his voice… She began imagining what it would be like to give in to the voice she ignored when murder wasn't involved.

"You're asking for trouble," she murmured, unable to keep the shadows out of her voice as it lowered to a tone that was all too dangerous.

"Am I?" Olivia felt her control slip when his warm breath moved across her cheek. She gripped his vest and jerked hard, twisting him around so their positions were reversed.

"Yes, you are," she whispered as her mouth hovered over his. "I haven't gotten any in a long, long time, Nathan. It makes me edgy." Olivia walked her fingers up his shirt until she could feel the warm hollow of his throat and just the beginning of his chest hair. She swiftly pressed her left cheek against his as she whispered into his ear, "Don't tempt me."

And what the **fuck **did she think she was doing, exactly? Olivia came back to herself and backed off immediately. She couldn't believe she just did that. She'd allowed herself to indulge in what her other half had wanted instead of being good. Olivia cleared her throat. "I, uh, I'm just going to… go see Shilo," she mumbled, grabbing her back and sprinting up the stairs.

The heat would go away. She would make it go away.


	11. Wonderful Time of the Year

Chapter Ten

"_Didn't I raise her all alone, didn't I?"_

Nathan hated Christmas. The holiday began to pester him shortly after Thanksgiving. Once it was December, he felt like he was under siege. Although he no longer went to malls and was therefore saved the garish displays, he did listen to the radio. The stations were mysteriously compelled to blast Christmas songs all about Christ being born and Jack Frost nipping at noses. This had nothing to do with his bloody job or loneliness. He had always been this way. Marni had been the one who made it bearable for him. She threw herself into the holiday, decorating every inch of available space and cheerfully singing every sentimental ditty about Christmas she could remember. He might have hated the holiday but he loved her. Anything that made her happy made him happy.

Once Marni had died, there was no one around to decorate or cook or sing. The only thing he'd done for Christmas with Shilo the last sixteen years was exchange gifts. It seemed wrong to deprive her of that. She'd never expressed much curiosity about the holiday and it was a calm, uneventful time for the two of them. Things would be different this year. Olivia's presence guaranteed a difference. One day he suspected he would come home from work and find a tree by the stairs. Naturally he would lose any argument he had with her about Christmas since he didn't actually have a good reason for not liking it besides the fact that it got on his nerves. Aside from that, he wanted to avoid arguing with her at all cost.

Nathan had no idea what had come over him when he'd fought Olivia about the sex issue. He had felt so flustered and unsure about the whole thing. Then she'd said he was sexually dead. He winced even now as he recalled her tone. If not for the way he'd seen her react to him, he would have believed she meant it. God knew Nathan had begun to believe he had none of those feelings anymore. They both knew better than that now.

It was only later when he was working, cutting open a man on the street to remove his kidneys, that he realized exactly what had come over him. Repo Man had taken the reins of his control and acted only as a savage would. When he worked he recalled all the perverse thoughts that had streamed through his head when he had Olivia against the wall. Chaining her down, showing her just how 'sexually dead' he was. It pleased the Repo Man but stunned Nathan.

Years ago he'd learned that he had to find a way to distance himself from what he did for a living. Repossessing organs was not a business for a sane man. So Nathan had taken all the instincts of the Repo Man and sealed them away, to be released only on his victims. Shilo could never see what her father was. Somehow Olivia had provoked those instincts. He didn't know how or why it had happened. There was also the matter of how she'd reacted. It was as if something had shifted inside her as well. The fierceness of her single blue eye had never been so blatantly carnal. Without any answers, Nathan simply had to wonder.

Then, finally, the tree happened. He'd known it was coming but he was surprised by how soon after the 'incident' she'd brought it out. Nathan came out from behind the fireplace, immediately confronted by a tall, artificial Christmas tree with the lights already on it. He stared at it a moment before hurriedly closing the fireplace. He was lucky he hadn't opened it while Olivia or Shilo was in the room. No, his timing had been excellent. Only a few seconds later the women in his life came down the stairs, holding strings of popcorn.

"I can't believe you ate unbuttered, unsalted popcorn," Olivia was saying. Shilo just grinned.

"It tasted good to me," she said casually. Olivia shook her head. When she saw him she paused on the stairs, all expression leaving her face. It had been like that when he'd opened the door for her that day, although he hadn't noticed a tree nearby. She must have slipped out to get it once he'd gone. He supposed she either wanted to surprise him or avoid an argument. If her lack of facial expression was anything to go by, he was pretty certain she didn't want to do something nice for him anytime in the near future so it probably wasn't an attempt at a pleasant surprise.

"Hello, Nathan," she greeted him coldly. "We didn't hear you come in the door." Shilo's greeting was considerably warmer.

"Dad, look at what we've been doing!" she called, holding up the strings of popcorn. He smiled at her.

"You've been working hard."

"No, I mostly ate the popcorn. Livvy did the actually stringing part," Shilo admitted. She looked so much like her mother there with that slightly guilty but pleased smile. It was almost painful.

"I thought you might be a Christmas enthusiast," Nathan told Olivia, hoping for maybe a little emotion. She merely shrugged.

"It's a nice enough holiday. I prefer Halloween." The two of them finished their walk down the stairs and Olivia set Shilo to work on stringing the popcorn around the tree. Nathan almost interceded, knowing that Shilo had never decorated a tree before and couldn't know the right way to do it. He stopped himself when he realized just how much it pleased Shilo to be given this task to do on her own. A few months ago the correction would have been automatic. He wouldn't have paused to think about it. Olivia was getting to him.

"Dad, check out the decorations Livvy brought!" Shilo said, looking over her shoulder at him with a glowing smile. Olivia picked up a medium-sized cardboard box that had been sitting next to the tree.

"I wasn't sure what sort of tree ornaments you had, if any, so I brought mine," she explained. He accepted the box from her and took a seat on the stairs to peruse its contents. The first thing he noticed was that every ornament was handmade. Crisp crochet angels, stars, Santas and miniature wreaths in a variety of colors filled the box. "My grandmother made them." He glanced up at her.

"These are remarkable," he murmured. So few people put forth the effort to create things anymore. The old works of simple art had been dumped out in favor of technology. Nathan felt privileged to see this treasure.

"Remarkable," Olivia echoed. "I suppose so." Something had changed in her face. It no longer looked blank. He had the distinct impression that she was in pain. Her mouth was in a tight, thin line and it looked as though her jaw was clenched.

"Is this all of them?" he asked carefully, unsure how to find out what was wrong with Shilo barely a yard away. Olivia nodded.

"Those are all of my grandmother's things. My mom made a lot of decorations. There was this train set she made out of yarn and these plastic square things. I wish I remembered the name. Anyway, most of them were destroyed," she finished flatly, only the tiniest flicker of guilt in her eye. Nathan frowned.

"By what?" Olivia glanced at Shilo, who was cheerfully humming under her breath. She turned back to him.

"Grief." Nathan understood immediately. She hated Christmas, too. Olivia turned to Shilo with a light smile. "Hey, kid, I'm going to pop some more popcorn for you. Tree decorating is hungry work."

"Thanks, Livvy." The woman made an abrupt retreat to the kitchen. "Why don't you help her out, dad?" Nathan blinked. Shilo's friendly suggestion was exactly the excuse he needed to find out a little more about Olivia.

"Good idea, Shi. We'll be back in no time."

"_I am lost without you here."_

Olivia had woken up crying last night. She hadn't woken up crying for a long time and it put her in a bad state of mind. The holidays were rough but that wasn't new. They'd been rough every since her mother died. It had happened around this time of year, too. December was just a bad month overall. However, the last five years hadn't been all that awful. She had begun to feel like she'd pulled herself together and made a life without warm things like trees and decorations and family dinners. It worked for her.

Shilo was getting to her. She was, in a way, family and Christmas with family was not something she'd expected to have. Olivia had tried to put a little distance between her and the Wallaces. With Nathan it worked fine. With Shilo, there was no hope. She couldn't keep from loving her. That was what had happened, no matter how hard Olivia had fought. She loved Shilo. The girl was sincere and innocent. It was impossible not to love her. She was even feeling a little more paranoid about the things they did together. She worried that Shilo would wear herself out or faint or fall down the stairs or set fire to the kitchen or… She closed her eyes as the popcorn popped in the microwave. All she needed was a pair of dark-rimmed glasses and she could be Nathan.

"Olivia?" She turned at the sound of his voice. "Shilo thought you might need a hand." She lifted a brow questioningly.

"With popcorn?"

"Well, yes," he said, sounding a little hesitant now. He'd probably realized just how strange it was for Shilo to think she needed help with popcorn. Olivia just shook her head.

"She's been like this for the past few weeks. I don't really want to talk to her about it but it's getting harder to avoid." He frowned. She saw that he was confused although she wasn't sure why. It was blatantly obvious that Shilo was trying to set them up. The kid was so organized that she probably had complex blueprints about Operation Hookup.

"I'm sorry?" he asked. This time Olivia frowned. There was no way he'd missed what Shilo was doing. Just no way. Was there…?

"Come on, Nathan. Popcorn?"

"I-I don't know what you mean." He was stuttering. He really didn't know. All men really were thick.

"She's trying to get us together," she told him slowly. He stared at her blankly in response. Olivia tried not to roll her eyes. "Remember the whole sexual health issue? She brought it up because she wants the two of us to do the Nasty, fall in love, get married and maybe give her a brother or sister."

"She wants what?" he demanded, eyes widening.

"You heard me."

"That's not possible." Nathan was shaking his head and leaning against the wall as if he needed the support. "She knows better. I'm still… I'm not…"

"I know that," she told him gently. "You still love your wife. But Shilo doesn't." Nathan's expression went sharp.

"Of course she loves her mother. How could you say that?" Olivia did roll her eyes then.

"I said it because it's true. Shilo does not love her mother. She doesn't even remember the woman." Nathan stalked toward her.

"You don't understand anything," he snarled. Olivia felt too dead inside to care about Nathan's outrage. Her grief had affectively strangled the attraction that had once been there when she looked at him.

"I understand very well. Shilo resents her mother for passing on her blood condition. She resents her for being so perfect. Most of all, she hates that when you look at her you see **Marni**." It was as if she'd sucked the air right out of his lungs. He looked shocked, devastated, hollowed out.

"She thinks that?"

"Yeah," Shilo confirmed from the doorway. Olivia didn't know how long she'd been standing there. The grief and aching went away when she looked at Shilo. She suddenly felt intensely guilty for talking about her with Nathan. She'd betrayed her trust in a way.

"Shilo, I'm sorry," she said, quickly going to her. She was so quick she bumped into Nathan as he headed to do the same thing. Shilo just shook her head.

"It's okay. It was just the truth." Olivia didn't think Nathan could look any more shattered. She was wrong.

"Shi," he whispered, the nickname sounding like a plea for forgiveness. "You have to know I love you."

"I know that, dad. But sometimes I feel like I'm not enough. I could never make you really happy by being me. I had to be my mother and I'm… I'm not." Her voice broke. This time Olivia restrained herself before she enveloped Shilo in her arms. That was Nathan's place. He hugged his daughter tight against him. It looked as if he was about to cry, too. Olivia leaned against the counter. Even her eyes were stinging, threatening tears. The holidays were hell.

"You were right." Olivia realized Nathan was talking to her. She watched the Wallaces as they dealt with what she'd done to them. She really was poison.

"I'm sorry," she whispered again. Shilo turned to look at her in her father's arms. The tears in the teen's eyes shattered Olivia's heart just a little more.

"You knew because you loved your mother," Shilo said quietly. "You could tell that I didn't. If I could cover up my face, I would so I could be me. But you loved your mom so why…?" Olivia knew what Shilo was offering. It was a trade. She'd given Shilo's secret to her father. Now she deserved a secret in return. She was willing to accept that offer if it would at all repair the damage she'd done or at least put them on a more even plain of suffering.

"The right side of my face doesn't look like my mother, Shilo. When my mother was murdered - "

"She was murdered?" Nathan asked. She nodded, wishing she didn't have to share this with him. Telling Shilo anything would probably be the same thing as telling Nathan now that she was trying to fix them up, so what difference did it make?

"Repossessed." Her eyes went to Shilo so she didn't see Nathan's eyes freeze over. "I tried to stop what happened to her… her attacker threw me through a glass door and the shards…" She gestured at her face. Shilo had gone pale. She hadn't known what she'd been asking Olivia to reveal and it shocked her.

"Why didn't you get a skin graft or something?"

"It would be like pretending I didn't fail," Olivia replied, trying to adopt a lighter tone but it just sounded brittle. Shilo left her father's strangely limp arms and hugged Olivia.

"I'm sorry," she whispered so only the scarred woman could hear. "I didn't know. I'm sorry." Olivia stroked the kid's shoulder.

"Not your fault."

"I'm sorry." It was Nathan saying it now. His expression wasn't one she understood in the least. It was almost like anguish and… guilt? No, that was silly. He had nothing to feel guilty about. She smiled at him weakly before resting her head on top of Shilo's. The comfort of a hug was one she never wanted to take for granted again. She barely heard Nathan's whisper. "Oh, **God**, I am so sorry."

She didn't know that her mother's killer was apologizing.


	12. An Evening for Exchanges

Chapter Eleven

"_Stay with the dead, I'm joining the living."_

As luck would have it, Christmas Eve coincided with Olivia's visiting day and it thrilled her to bits. God knew she hated Christmas but something had happened after she decorated with Shilo. She felt mysteriously light inside, as if a weight had been lifted. She'd begun to smile more often and that elicited a few knowing smirks from the Graverobber. Even he couldn't kill her good mood. The holidays were upon her and yet she didn't feel depressed. She had a great kid to hang out with and spoil with some ridiculous presents, not to mention her father who had for some reason begun to trip over himself to help her out. Nathan had done most of the grunt work of decorating and when she'd asked what she was allowed to give Shilo for Christmas, he'd said she could get whatever she wanted. It was actually a little spooky. Olivia wanted to know why he was suddenly being so nice to her but she was afraid it might have to do with pity. After all, he knew her sob story about her scars. Maybe he was just a bleeding heart.

On Christmas Eve, however, none of her speculation or uncertainty mattered. She refused to let it matter. This was going to be the best Christmas Eve she'd in years. Olivia would have a great time with Shilo and maybe even Nathan. She shifted the presents she had in her arms so she could lean against the buzzer. It had taken her weeks to figure out what to get Shilo and now the anticipation of seeing her reaction was just about killing her. They'd agreed to exchange gifts tonight since Olivia had work in the morning. There were always suicides after Christmas Eve. All the morgues got a few of the bodies, Olivia's included. Naturally, she didn't tell Shilo the details of why she had to miss Christmas morning. She wanted to be honest with the kid but there's honest and then there's too much information.

There was a harsh buzz and finally the gate swung open. Olivia stepped through then stared as Nathan came through the front door. That never happened. He always opened the door for her. He didn't come out to meet her. Was there some sort of emergency? Was something wrong with Shilo? Oh, God!

"Nathan, what is it?" she asked, nearly running to meet him. It was his turn to stare at her in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"You came outside. You never do that. Is Shilo - ?"

"She's fine," he told her quickly, catching onto the fact that she was beginning to panic. "Well, she's a little excited and I'm worried she'll over do it but other than that…"

"Then what are you doing out here?" Olivia asked. He cleared his throat.

"I wanted to help. Your arms are full." Nathan held out his own arms to take the packages and she passed them to him, mostly out of shock. Chivalry was dead. So what the hell was this?

"Thanks," she mumbled. He gestured for her to go ahead of him and although his arms were full he still managed to get the door open for her before she could touch the handle. Olivia tried very hard not to stare like an idiot but it wasn't easy. Not only was he acting strange but he looked excellent. She thought wearing green on Christmas was cliché but his vest was a dark enough shade that it wasn't too awful. Besides, it made his green eyes practically glow. Those eyes could hypnotize a lesser woman.

"You certainly took me at my word when I said you could get Shilo whatever you wanted," Nathan commented as he set the presents under the tree. "That one box is almost half your size. Just what did you get her?"

"That would be telling," she pointed out as she unbuttoned her coat and hung it up by the door. Nathan made a quiet choking sound. She turned around to see him staring at her dress. She cursed quietly in her head. She thought only short skirts would put Nathan into that awkwardly fascinated state. Apparently a burgundy stretch velvet dress could to it, too. It was long-sleeved with a kick pleat on the right side, clearly defining her waist. Once again, not much cleavage, but he was staring anyway. "I know it might be a little formal but it's been a while since I had a proper Christmas Eve."

"No, no, you're very… I mean, the color is very flattering and the cut is, uh, quite… flattering," he choked out. Olivia had to bite her lip to keep from grinning. He was adorable when he got like this.

"Thanks. That was very… flattering," she replied, a tiny smile sneaking out after all. He smiled back and she felt something flutter in her chest. Olivia quickly looked away from him. "Well, I'm guessing that Shilo hasn't made an appearance yet because she's eavesdropping. Am I right, Shilo?" she called up. A groan sounded from the stairs.

"Spoilsport!" The teenager came loping down the stairs, short white dress flopping around her knees. Despite her disappointment at being discovered she hugged the older woman.

"Twerp," Olivia retorted with a grin as she wrapped her arms around the slender girl. This was exactly what she'd been hoping for all week. The house was warm with Christmas lights and decorations. There was even the scent of pine, most likely not from the actual tree.

"We're going to do everything right!" Shilo said, pulling back so she could see Olivia's face. "We're going to sing carols, watch black and white movies and eat tree-shaped cookies. Ooh, and presents!"

"Shilo, please…"

"Breathe, Shilo…" Nathan and Olivia both paused as they realized they had spoken at the same time. Shilo groaned.

"Oh, no, not two of you! Dad was bad enough on his own. Livvy, you can't join his side." Olivia lifted a brow, lips twisting in a wicked smirk.

"But isn't this what you wanted, Shilo? What with all your matchmaking…"

"What matchmaking?" she asked innocently. Olivia snickered.

"What matchmaking? 'Dad's a great cook, Livvy. Dad's a great singer, Livvy. Maybe you and dad could go out to a restaurant some time so you could tell me what it's like. What do you mean there's too much mistletoe, Livvy?'" she quoted. Shilo blushed.

"Oh. That."

"Mistletoe, huh?" Nathan asked, coming to stand at Olivia's shoulder. "I missed that." He wasn't touching her but she could feel the heat radiating from his body. She tried to ignore it but the sensation wasn't going away.

"Yes, well, the moral of the story is that you should always be careful what you wish for since you just might get it." She moved subtly away from Nathan and wrapped an arm around Shilo. "Let's go see that black and white movie, shall we?" They had barely started on the stairs when Shilo looked over her shoulder.

"Aren't you coming, dad?" Olivia experienced an array of emotions in about five seconds. She felt frustrated, hopeful, trapped and eager. She prayed she kept all that off her face.

"Yeah, Nathan," she said lightly. "Why don't you join us?" He smiled in a way that made her deeply suspicious. It seemed a little too satisfied for her taste.

"I like that idea."

The movie was, of course, the classic _It's a Wonderful Life_. Olivia hadn't actually seen it for years while Shilo hadn't seen it at all. Before Olivia she'd viewed black and white movies with some contempt. All it had taken for her to change her mind was Olivia saying how Christmas had never really felt like Christmas without _It's a Wonderful Life_. Thankfully it was still around and Nathan hadn't had any trouble picking it up. They set up in Shilo's room. Shilo sat on the floor, propped up by pillows, while Nathan and Olivia both brought in chairs. Usually Olivia would take the floor but her dress was not floor-friendly.

Naturally Shilo was taken with the film almost from the beginning but it was the romance that won her over. She let out a little sigh when George talked about giving Mary the moon. Olivia chuckled.

"Don't get your hopes up, honey. No one talks like that anymore." Nathan glanced at her, a mildly interested look on his face.

"They don't?"

"Definitely not. I've been around enough to know," she informed him. In the world they lived in, no man went on and on about the things he would do for a woman unless it had to do with sex. Even then it wasn't particularly poetic or even appealing. The goal was instant gratification, not romance.

"Ah, yes, I remember you saying something about your experience before," he commented with a superficially innocent tone. Olivia immediately thought of when she'd pinned him to the wall and talked about how she hadn't gotten any in a long, long time. She stared at him, completely dumbfounded. She suspected she looked like a flabbergasted idiot and his smirk confirmed it. "Edgy?" he asked, using the same word she'd used all those weeks ago as he looked at her over the rims of his glasses. The fluttering had returned to her chest but this time it had spread to her stomach.

"I'm fine," she mumbled, staring determinedly at the movie and not glancing at him once during the rest of the film. That didn't mean she didn't think about him, though. She barely paid attention to the screen as her thoughts raced. Nathan wasn't hitting on her. No, it wasn't anything that obvious. He was flirting. It was subtle, elegant and disconcerting. Their relationship was shifting. Again. They'd gone from being enemies to having a weird, sexually charged friendship. He treated her like glass after he found out about her face but now he'd started teasing her. What was this?

She wondered about that throughout the day as they discussed the movie over roast beef sandwiches. Shilo hadn't been kidding when she said her dad was a good cook. The sandwiches were amazing. Shilo was only leaving hers alone because she's stuffed herself with cookies while her father hadn't been paying attention. Olivia maintained that she hadn't noticed either when Nathan asked. He hadn't believed her.

"We still have to sing carols," Shilo reminded them once they'd finished eating. Olivia smiled.

"You sing away, kid. Knock yourself out."

"You don't sing?" she asked, a shocked look on her face. It hadn't occurred to her that Olivia might not be able to do anything she wanted.

"Oh, yeah, I sing but I have a strict policy. I only sing around deaf people." Shilo let out a disappointed sigh.

"It doesn't seem right not to sing all together."

"I'm sure you're better than you think," Nathan added, the grin on his face unmistakable. He was more interested in hearing Olivia sing than maintaining the Christmas spirit. She glared at him.

"Oh, so now you're backing her up? Keep in mind, buddy, I know where you sleep at night." That maybe wasn't the best choice of words since his eyes got that speculative gleam and Olivia had to look away. She got out of singing, barely, and they moved to the present portion of the evening.

"Oh, my God, Livvy! This thing is huge. What's inside?" Shilo asked as she picked out the biggest present first. Of course, she asked this while tearing off the wrapping paper so Olivia decided to let Shilo discover the answer for herself. "Oh, it's a display case with… butterflies? Wow, that blue one is amazing. Look at the color! It's all shimmery."

"Dead insects?" Nathan inquired, glancing at Olivia. She smirked.

"The book-shaped present explains it." Shilo immediately went for the book-shaped present and ripped it open to reveal a book titled _Insects_. She began flipping through it, reading excerpts out loud in an excited voice.

"This is so awesome! Dad, look at all the types of bugs. Hey, there's my butterfly," she squealed, immediately reading about it. Nathan looked back at Olivia who was feeling very pleased with herself indeed.

"I believe you just turned my daughter into a bug fanatic," he noted, more than a little impressed. She smiled.

"What can I say? I'm good."

"You're the best," Shilo corrected, flying up to hug Olivia tightly. "This is the best hobby ever. Not that I didn't like quilting. It's just that bugs are all so different and there's only so many ways you can stitch. That reminds me!" Shilo darted back to the tree, picked up a lumpy package and handed it to Olivia. "Merry Christmas!"

"You didn't have to do this," she began to say as she unwrapped it. Then a scarf fell into her hands and she went silent. Shilo bit her lip, unnerved.

"Er, I know it's not perfect. I've only had a few weeks practice but I worked on it every minute I could and dad got me a book on it so I'd know what I was doing without spoiling the surprise for you." The scarf was wider at one end that it was at the other. The scarf had a color scheme that could cause seizures. The scarf was the best scarf Olivia had ever been given.

"It's perfect," she whispered, voice breaking as she said it. "This is… It's great, Shilo. It's so great." She pulled the kid in for another hug, squeezing her eyes shut to keep the tears at bay. Nathan gave them a minute as he wandered casually over to the tree.

"Shi, you missed one," he said once some time had passed. He picked up the small colorfully wrapped cube and made to hand it to Shilo. Olivia cleared her throat.

"Actually, uh, that one's for you." Both Wallaces stared at her. She shifted uneasily. "Well, I was spending all this time in antique shops looking for the right display case and I sort of found something that made me think of your father. And, besides, he deserves a present for putting up with me."

"Thank you," Nathan said, glancing at her as he slowly unwrapped his present. Shilo frowned when she saw it.

"What is that?"

"A Rubik's cube," her dad said as he turned it over in his hand. "It's a very old puzzle. Nearly impossible to solve, too." His eyes met Olivia's. "And it reminded you of me?"

"Yeah," she replied quietly. "Just another puzzle." She winced. That had been way too cheesy. It was time to retreat. "Well, I should get going. I'm going to have an early day tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" Shilo didn't want her to leave. No surprises there. However, it looked like Nathan wasn't eager to see her go, either. That was a bad sign for her plan to put a little distance between herself and the family unit.

"Yes, unfortunately," she replied while wrapping her new scarf around her neck. "But you've got plenty to do. I expect you to tell me everything there is to know about insects next week." Shilo grinned.

"It's a deal." She hugged Olivia again before returning to her book. Nathan went with her to the door, watching quietly as she pulled her coat off the hook.

"I didn't get you anything," he said quietly.

"It's okay. I know I'm a pain in the ass." She turned around and realized they were much closer than she'd expected. The fluttering returned once more. She stared into his eyes, thinking that he really was handsome in an adorable, long-lasting sort of way. He would be adorable for years to come and she would probably be attracted to him for just as long.

"You aren't a pain in the ass," he corrected with an earnest smile. "And I feel guilty." Was there anything wrong with a little Christmas kiss? Something small, innocent. Just… nothing. She went for it.

Unfortunately, Nathan went for it, too. This resulted in the two of them bumping faces by mistake. Olivia jerked back, pressing a hand to her forehead and wincing. Then she giggled. That had been so pathetic and bad and clear sign that this was not what the universe intended for them to do. "Wow, okay, that didn't work out," she said lightly.

"I'm sorry about - "

"No problem," she cut him off before he could say anything to make the situation more awkward. "It's really no problem. Merry Christmas, Nathan." She ducked out the door, hearing a faint 'Merry Christmas, Olivia' as she retreated.

It was ten minutes later that she felt something in her jacket pocket that didn't belong. Her fingers grasped the object and pulled it out into the light. A butterfly hair clasp with mother-of-pearl wings sparkled at her bemused face. Nathan had gotten her a present after all. Olivia ran her thumb over the butterfly, thinking about the irony. She had gotten Shilo a butterfly and he had given her one as well. With a frustrated groan she closed her eyes. What the hell did the signs mean now?


	13. Picture Imperfect

Chapter Twelve

"_Shut up and try my new parts."_

The Graverobber knew his relationship with Livvy was a weird, slightly incestuous brother/sister kind of thing. He did favors for her and she did the same for him. The only constants in his life were drugs and Livvy. He was comfortable with that. It worked for him. He didn't really believe in friendship but he knew whatever arrangement he had with Livvy was pretty close to it. They didn't have sex, except that once and he only slightly regretted not being able to remember it. She got on his case about hygiene and he got on her case about wanting to bang single dads. That was just how their dynamic worked. So he was a little startled when a few days after Christmas she gripped his jacket collar, backed him up against the freezer section of the morgue and started to kiss him.

At first it was all about instinct. An attractive woman was kissing him and he didn't mind returning the favor. He wrapped an arm around her waist and a hand at the base of her neck. He drank up the flavor of her lips, recognizing the sting of hard liquor. The Graverobber moved his hand to feel the muscles in her shoulder. They were extremely tense. He began to absorb the frustration of her body and even though the blood in his head was beginning to head in a more southern direction, he knew what this was about now. He hooked his arm under her knees and lifted her up bridal style. Livvy let out a startled shriek, clutching at his shoulders.

"I appreciate the offer, Livvy," the Graverobber said casually as he carried her out of the morgue and upstairs to her living quarters. "Really I do. Scalpel Sluts might know what they're doing but there's nothing like swapping spit with an innocent."

"I'm not an innocent," she slurred. He chuckled knowingly. She'd been sober enough to know how to kiss but speaking was getting to be a problem.

"Some people are always innocent when it comes to sex. You could kill a thousand people but you'll always taste like sincerity to a guy. That's just how you tick." He proceeded into her bathroom, dumped her in the shower then turned it on full blast. And ice cold.

"Fuck! Son of a bitch!" Livvy cursed at him, spitting water out of her mouth.

"You'll feel better once you've sobered up," he informed her. He blocked the exit of the shower so she couldn't get out. She also wasn't nearly stable enough to fight him so that left her trembling under the fall of icy water. Livvy glowered at him.

"I will not feel better. I will feel as wound up as frustrated as before, no thanks to you." The Graverobber just shrugged.

"Sorry, babe, but any longer and you'd be moaning some other guy's name." Her eyes flamed with denial.

"I would not."

"Oh, yes, you would. You've been edgy since you had that nice little Christmas gathering with your adopted family." Livvy's scowl deepened.

"They're not my family. They're just friends. And I've only been edgy because you keep saying ridiculous things about me and Nathan."

"Right," he replied skeptically. "You and Nathan are just friends. That explains why you got drunk and came onto me. You've decided we'd make the perfect couple, is that it?"

"Hardly," she muttered. "I was just a little wound up."

"I'm going to give you some advice, Livvy. If you're smart, you'll take it to heart. The next time you see Nathan, kiss him like you were kissing me downstairs. I guarantee you'll be a lot happier." She leaned against the wall of the shower, her mismatched eyes brooding.

"He's still in love with his wife." The Graverobber lifted a brow.

"The wife that's been dead for sixteen years?" Livvy nodded unhappily. He just smirked.

"That's because she was the last woman he slept with, Livvy. Bang him a few times and he won't even remember his own name, much less some dead girl's."

"You're an ass," she snapped at him. He grinned and leaned toward her.

"Feel like kissing me again?" She splashed water at his face but she grinned back. Even if he was an ass, she couldn't stay mad at him. "Ah, good. You're cured. For a minute I was afraid we'd have to settle down and have a couple kids."

"Oh, yeah, that'd be great. 'Gather round, children. Daddy's going to teach you how to do drugs'," Livvy muttered, reaching over to turn the shower off. "Like that'd ever happen."

"_Your designer heart still beats with common blood."_

"Livvy, you're going to love what dad got me for Christmas." Olivia stared down at the beaming teenager, confusion plain on her face. Shilo had never opened the door for her before today. She opened her mouth to ask but Shilo cut her off. "Dad had to go to work early today. He said he would be busy for a long time so it's just us." Olivia realized the kid was watching her face for any trace of disappointment so she painted an easy smile on her face. Inside, she wasn't sure what she was feeling.

"I'm sure we'll be able to find things to do. Oh, and Happy New Years," she said lightly, stepping into the house. "Now, what did your dad get you?"

"Happy New Year to you, too. Just wait till you see it!" Shilo grinned and ran up the stairs. Olivia shook her head indulgently, closing and locking the front door. She could barely remember when she had that kind of energy. Youth was wasted on the young, or so they said. At least Shilo hadn't made a big deal of New Years. Olivia wasn't particularly excited by the holiday since it meant January had begun. This January would be particularly painful. Her birthdays were never fun but she dreaded this one even more. She was going to be thirty. She was getting old.

She guiltily peeled off her coat and exposed bare shoulders. She'd wanted to conduct a little experiment with Nathan. She knew his brain temporarily shut of when she wore skirts, long or short, but she wanted to know what other types of clothing might be dangerous. Today she was wearing black pants and a black cinched corset that left her shoulders and a lot of her chest bare. It had the strange talent of showing off a ridiculous amount of skin but no breast.

Olivia wasn't doing this to deliberately torture Nathan. She just wanted to know what clothes not to wear for future reference. If she found out early, she wouldn't make the same mistake again. That was all. She told herself that as she headed up the stairs and even inside her head it sounded like a weak excuse. Olivia was going to have to admit she wasn't fooling anybody. Hell, earlier that week she'd been so frustrated she'd tried to seduce the Graverobber of all people. She was in bad shape, no doubt about it. The problem was she couldn't decide if she wanted to move forward in her relationship with Nathan. Things were going so well now that they were friends. Wouldn't it be tempting fate if she tried for more?

As Olivia turned the corner into the hallway, a bright flash went off. She stumbled and blinked, colorful spots dotting her vision. "Got you on film!" Shilo said with a satisfied grin. Olivia smiled weakly.

"Oh, great. I'm sure that picture was flattering."

"Don't be embarrassed. You always look pretty." The snap-happy teen took another quick picture while Olivia mentally damned Nathan to hell. He had no idea what he'd unleashed when he gave this kid a camera.

"I do not always look pretty, Shilo. You can take my word for that," she murmured flatly, covering her face with her hand as she went into Shilo's room. Another surprise waited for her there. The place had changed since she'd last been there. A long table had been added. There sat the display case Olivia had given Shilo and the book on bugs was open, as if it had only just been abandoned. She couldn't help but smile a little at that. Of course, Shilo snapped a picture before she could hide it. "Okay, Shilo, you know I love you but if you keep impersonating the paparazzi, something bad will happen to your camera." Shilo bashfully lowered the camera.

"Dad said it would get on your nerves," she mumbled. "I just wanted to have some pictures of you in my room. There are so many pictures of my mother around, I thought it would be good to balance things out a little." Olivia cleared her throat. If Shilo went around replacing Marni's pictures with her own, Nathan could very well have a heart attack.

"You should probably talk with your father about that one. But, you know, I haven't got any pictures of you where I live. Maybe you could take a picture of the two of us together?" Shilo perked up at that.

"That'd be great! Come on, we'll do it by the window." Olivia let Shilo have fun planning the picture. She tried several different poses with the two of them but eventually she settled for just sitting on the window seat, smiling at the camera. Olivia put an arm around Shilo, then turned her head to the right so most of the left side of her face could be seen. When she looked at this picture she wanted to think about all the good times with Shilo, not what lay under the curtain of hair on the right side of her face.

The flash went off and Olivia let out a relieved sigh. Hopefully that marked the end of Shilo's need for photographic evidence that Olivia existed. "Maybe we could do another one downstairs by the fireplace?" Or not.

"Uh, Shilo-"

"I'm pushing my luck, aren't I?" Shilo guessed. "I'm sorry. We can do something else if you want. Oh, hey, you should see the book dad got me. It looks like something you'd enjoy." She put the camera on her desk then went to her bookshelf, skimming her fingers over the titles until she found the one she wanted. "_The Hobbit_."

"No! Really?" Olivia went to see for herself. There in Shilo's hands was a very old, very enjoyable book that Olivia hadn't seen in years. "This was one of my mother's favorites," she murmured. For once there wasn't any pain as she recalled the woman who raised her, just fondness. "She read it all the time but she lost it. They don't print it anymore and she couldn't afford one of the older copies." Shilo passed the old novel to Olivia who cradled it in her hands like it was a newborn. "She'd read this to me when I was sick. It always made me want to live in the Shire." The Shire was a green, verdant place that was the total opposite of where Olivia currently lived. Dreams didn't always come true. In fact, it was far more common for them to never be realized.

"It sounds like a nice place," Shilo noted quietly. "Could you… could you tell me about it?" She saw the interest in the teen's eyes and the trust. There was no way to deny that Shilo had absolute trust in her. It was the kind of trust a child had in a parent. Olivia felt something wrap its fingers carefully around her heart. She thought it might be hope.

"I can do better than that," she said, flipping open the book to the first page. "Unless you're too old for someone to read to you, that is." Shilo quickly shook her head.

"No, I'm not too old. Go ahead." Olivia held the book open in her hands and waited for Shilo to take a seat. Reading aloud was only as interesting as the reader made it. Olivia had every intention of making this an interesting experience.

There had to be something of her mother in her.

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit."

"_Dear Marni, I am so sorry. Can you forgive me for this?"_

By the time Nathan came home it was past midnight and he was having trouble remembering the last time he'd been so deeply exhausted. A family of four had been repossessed. Most of their organs were GeneCo property and it had taken hours to remove them all. His eyes were tired, although not half as much as his soul. He'd begun to think of Olivia as he worked now. It made it nearly impossible to be only the Repo Man with his victims. He kept flashing back to all those years ago when he'd killed a widow and left her daughter for dead.

It had been one of his first repossessions and he hadn't been as smooth as he was today. Now he knew how to insure his victims were alone. He remembered it vividly because the woman had begged him to kill her. After he'd thrown the kid who would one day become his daughter's best friend through a glass door, her mother had thrown herself in front of him and begged to be repossessed. She promised to be quiet, to stay still as long as he didn't hurt her daughter. She'd asked to die so Olivia could live.

Now he wanted the woman he'd scarred for life.

Nathan had denied it for as long as he could but Christmas had forced him to admit just how badly he wanted to be a man again, not just a father. He'd started the day with every intention of being respectful and staying at a distance. Then she'd taken off her jacket. It had been so many years since he'd seen a grown woman in an elegant dress smiling in his direction. He had come so close to kissing her and he still cursed himself for ruining it. But at least he knew that she wanted him, too.

He slowly climbed the stairs, wanting to check on Shilo before he let his body collapse. Olivia must have left some time ago and he wanted to be sure his daughter was all right. He needed to see her for selfish reasons as well. He needed to look at something clean. She was the one thing in his life that he hadn't destroyed in one way or another. Weakened, yes, but she was better off that way.

Nathan quietly opened Shilo's door, which he was leaving unlocked more and more often, and peeked inside. It turned out that Olivia hadn't left after all. Shilo and Olivia were both sound asleep, looking exactly like a mother and daughter shoulder after spending a long day together. Olivia held a book limply in her right hand while her left was curled around Shilo's shoulder. His daughter was nestled against the woman who had so completely invaded their lives. For a moment his legs felt weak and he had to lean against the doorframe to keep from collapsing.

He realized that he had more than a daughter to come home to now. Olivia would be there, too, if he let her. Nathan could put his family back together. She would never be Marni and that was all right. Shilo loved her. Nathan wasn't far from that either, if he was honest. He liked the way she laughed and treated him like a normal human being. She wasn't afraid of him. On the contrary, she challenged him. Olivia Stewart was his second chance at a happy life and he hadn't even figured it out until now. There were times that he doubted his own intelligence.

The idea of leaving her there with Shilo was tempting but Nathan decided against it. He had a hunch that Olivia would try to slip out in the morning without a word. He needed to talk to her. His only option was to put her in his room and he would just sleep in his armchair instead. His reasons were good. Besides Shilo's room, his room was the only one without cobwebs and he could talk to Olivia in the morning without waking his daughter. There were other, deeper reasons, such as having the scent of her hair on his pillow. Nathan tried not to think too hard about that. He separated the two bodies, knowing just how deeply Shilo slept. Olivia, however, was a much lighter sleeper. Her eyelids began to flicker when he lifted her into his arms.

"Nathan?" she mumbled sleepily. Her blue eye was fogged with sleep. "You're back early."

"It's late, not early," he corrected softly as he carried her out of Shilo's room and down the hall.

"Then I… I should go home." She didn't say it with much conviction. Already she'd pressed closer to his chest, relaxing into his touch. He just shook his head.

"It's too late for that." Nathan began to ease the door to his room open, taking extra care not to jostle the woman in his arms. For once he didn't look longingly at one of Marni's portraits in the hall. He had eyes only for Olivia and his thoughts were filled with plans to convince her that this house could be her home, too.

For once, he had hope.


	14. Bad Ballad, Better Beginning

Chapter Thirteen

"_How much of it depends on the choices that we make?"_

Olivia was fairly certain she was dreaming. It wasn't the fact that she was resting on a cold slab in her morgue. She did that regularly. However, she rarely wore a black silk evening gown while doing so, especially one with a slit all the way up to her hip. The silk glided over her body as she sat up and her hair fell over her bare shoulders. When she lifted a hand to touch her right cheek and felt no scars, she knew it was a dream.

She lowered herself carefully to the floor, her unclad feet touching something damp and sticky. Olivia couldn't see what it was. There was a spotlight on the metal slab but all the rest was darkness. The only way she knew it was blood was by the scent. Surprisingly, it didn't bother her. Hearing voices, now that bothered her.

"Oh, yeah, I sing but I have a strict policy. I only sing around deaf people." It was unnerving to hear her own voice coming from somewhere in the darkness. It was even more unnerving when Nathan's joined it.

"I'm sure you're better than you think." Olivia ventured toward the voices and away from the light. Then the spotlight snapped off, leaving her stumbling blindly in the dark. Inevitably she tripped and fell on something she immediately identified as stairs. She let out quiet stream of curses as she turned over on the stairs and stared up at nothing. She wanted to wake up. This was a bad dream.

A warm hand skimmed up her leg and she jerked upward, reaching out to feel for whoever had touched her. Although the sensation continued, she couldn't find the source. Warm lips kissed the inside of her knee and she shivered. "I'm sorry," Nathan's voice confessed from the shadows. "Oh, God, I am so sorry." The lights flashed on and suddenly she could see that she was sprawled across the staircase in the Wallace house. But she was also alone. Marni Wallace stared at her knowingly from above the fireplace. She knew Olivia's every secret. She knew how she felt about Nathan and she found it amusing. As if Olivia could ever compete with the far more beautiful Marni, even if she'd been alive.

Music drifted down the stairs as Olivia let her face fall into her hands. Marni was right but she didn't know how to make the feelings go away. She couldn't make them go away. Something of Nathan had become imbedded beneath her skin. She was… She was…

_"I'm infected," _she sang reluctantly, wishing more than ever that she could wake up and run, _"by this attraction. I'm infected by this attraction." _Olivia stood up and walked down the stairs. _"And I don't think that I can be fixed. No, I don't think that I can be fixed." _She fell against the front door, pressing her forehead against the glass. _"Tell me why, oh why, is lo-ove such a bitch." _Olivia saw Nathan's reflection in the glass and felt his fingers drift over her arm. A warm, slightly bashful smile turned up the corners of his mouth. She turned to confront him, only to find herself alone yet again. Marni was playing with her again. She was taunting her with what she couldn't have.

It wasn't even Olivia's fault. She hadn't wanted to feel anything for Nathan. He was the one at fault here. If he'd just treated her with hostility instead of gradually accepting her into his home and smiling in that ridiculously endearing way, none of this would have happened. _"It's your stupid smile. Damn that stupid smile!" _She glared pointedly up the stairs and sang, _"Can you hear me, Nathan? Thanks for all the stress. Now I am frustrated, dreaming of your touches. That's what is expected when you are infected." _She began to pace, wishing she would wake up and wishing that the embarrassing lyrics falling out of her mouth weren't true. Olivia thought of Shilo then and the chances of her throwing things out her window at the exact time that she was walking by.

Her decision to take a walk that day hadn't been huge but it had certainly changed her life. _"How much of it's attraction? How much of it is fate? How much of it depends on the choices that I've made?" _She looked imploringly at the picture of Marni, whose face was almost sympathetic now. _"I can see his eyes but can I see the person beneath?" _The picture smiled sadly, knowing all the answers but unable to share. _"Are my emotions the culprit? Can I stop them or am I a slave?" _

The light drained out of the room slowly until she was left standing in a small circle of light. When Nathan appeared beside her, Olivia couldn't work up the energy to be surprised. She felt numbed by the truth and there was still more to come. _"Oh, I want to know your love, your love." _He reached out to touch her face as she repeated the phrase. _"Oh, I want to know your love, your love." _As Nathan cradled her right cheek she felt a sudden jolt of pain. She pulled out of his grasp, staring at the red stain on his hand. Blood dripped down her throat and stained her dress. He caught her arm before she could run. She could only stare as the humanity seemed to drain out of Nathan's eyes. He touched her right cheek again, this time lifting something out of her skin. It was a piece of glass.

Olivia had never been so happy to wake up. She panted and blinked, disoriented by the vivid dream she hoped to forget as soon as possible. There had been far too much going on in her subconscious when she'd fallen asleep that night. Next time she'd just stay awake until the angst went away.

She began to look at her surroundings, wondering where the hell she was until the memories from the other night clicked into place. She remembered reading to Shilo and then waking up in Nathan's arms. After that she couldn't recall anything else. He must have put her in one of the guest rooms or something. Only a little light was peeping through the heavy curtains, which was pretty strange in itself. Sunny days were rare. She turned her attention from the sunlight to the canopy bed she currently inhabited. It was a warm, comfortable place to be but she needed to leave. A sleepover at Nathan's was not her idea of keeping a friendly distance. No matter what romantic ballads she sang in her dreams, she was not in love with him. She merely liked him. If Shilo caught her here in the morning Olivia would be roped into having breakfast with them and that would further blur the line between family friend and family **member**.

Olivia slipped out of the bed and realized she didn't have her boots. Nathan must have taken them off for her. It had been a nice thought but there wasn't enough light for her to go hunting for them. She could see the vague outline of a lamp on the stand beside the bed. She felt for the switch and eventually managed to turn it on.

The first thing she saw was Nathan. He was soundly asleep in a cushioned armchair, his glasses hooked into the pocket of his vest. Olivia stared at the relaxed lines of his face. He looked sweet. His hair was ruffled and his mouth was just a little open. She suspected he might snore when he was sleeping in a more horizontal position. She was struck by the need to know if she was right but not just about the snoring. She wanted to know if his hair was as soft as she thought or if his lips were as warm. She wanted to know how his hands would really feel on her body, not just dream about it. Olivia walked as quietly as she could toward him. She knew she would wake him in a moment and ask him why he was sleeping so near to her. And she would ask… Well, she would have to ask if he wanted to one day be closer to her when he slept. She began to reach out to touch him when the hair on the back of her neck rose up. She was being watched.

When Olivia lifted her eyes to the portrait on the wall, it felt like a slap to the face. Marni was watching. Marni was watching everywhere. Her perfect eyes in her perfect face stared out at the room, knowing that this was her domain. Olivia felt keenly then what Shilo had felt most of her life. She would never be enough for Nathan. She would forever be overshadowed by a ghost. If she wasn't Marni, she wasn't enough.

She turned abruptly away from Nathan and his dead wife's portrait, finding her boots at the foot of his bed. The room was fairly sparse with only wood floors, an old wardrobe and a cracked mirror on the wall. She supposed he didn't care much about his surroundings when he wasn't with Shilo or working. It was as she was tugging on her second boot that she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. The clip in her hair had slipped. A pattern of scars and one wicked green eye taunted her in the glass. Startled, she lost her balance and hit the floor hard, the heel of her boot making a particularly loud bang. It was more than enough to wake up a naturally paranoid father. She tugged on the boot and was out the door before Nathan could process what had just happened.

"Olivia?" She ran down the hall as quietly as she could, putting her weight on the balls of her feet to keep her boot heels from causing a ruckus. Once she made it to the stairs she started working with her hair, trying to wrestle it back into the style that protected her face so well. Soon it wouldn't matter so much. All she had to do was make it the rest of the way down the stairs, grab her coat and be out the door before Nathan could catch her.

It turned out she underestimated how fast he could move when he needed to. She'd only just gotten to the base of the stairs when he caught her arm and swung her against the railing. She felt momentarily relief, thinking of how close he'd been to seeing her face without covering. Then she began to panic, realizing how awkward this all was.

"Er, morning," she said weakly as she stared into his frustrated green eyes.

"Why were you running away?" he demanded angrily. She blanched.

"I was not running away. I was just hurrying in the opposite direction. It's late and I need to go." Olivia tried to get away but he had her penned in against the railing, his broader frame surrounding hers.

"It's early," he corrected, the anger in his eyes beginning to fade as understanding dawned. "You're afraid."

"A-afraid?" she sputtered.

"You're afraid, Olivia." She glared at him now, any embarrassment over being caught retreating abruptly vanishing.

"Oh, please, I face scarier things in the mirror. I'm not even slightly afraid of you." He laid his thumb over her lips and she went still. Olivia realized her hands were trembling so she shoved them in her pockets. A simple touch shouldn't affect her like this. He shouldn't affect her like this.

"You're not afraid of me. You're afraid of what you're feeling." Nathan ran his thumb along her bottom lip, studying the shape of her mouth. "So am I." Olivia couldn't speak. She didn't want him to take his hand away. This moment was fragile and if she said the wrong thing she could lose it. There were many things she could have said, all of them designed to push him away from her. She could have said something cruel about using an older man to make up for her failed relationship with her father. She could have been crude and claimed that if he'd wanted a quick fuck all he'd had to do was ask.

She could have been stupid and said she was falling in love with him.

Instead she chose to be silent, indicating what she wanted by tilting her chin upward. He moved his fingers over her unscarred cheek as he lowered his mouth to cover hers. It was so new it took her a moment to understand what she was feeling. His lips felt different against hers, smooth where the Graverobber's had been rough and clean where his had been painted. She parted her mouth, flicking her tongue against his lips to see what they might taste like.

His hands had dropped to her shoulders and his fingertips stroked her bare skin in small, leisurely circles. Olivia removed her hands from her pockets, too tempted not to touch. The kiss deepened and she learned an entirely new taste. The warm cavern of Nathan's mouth was bliss. She melted into his body and he gently cradled her against him. Olivia had not felt delicate in a long time nor had she felt wanted. Wanted as a friend and wanted as a mother, yes. But she'd never been really, truly wanted as a woman.

It was all so much slower than she was used to and the pace made her feel just as the Graverobber had said. Innocent. She was being gradually lowered into something tender and compelling. Olivia had been a lot of places but she'd never been where Nathan was prepared to take her. She pulled back for air, feeling more than a little stunned.

"That was different," she whispered hoarsely. He smiled and she spotted a brief flash of male vanity. It made her smile back. It always tickled her when he gave away the fact that he was a man beneath the fatherly concern. Of course, his kiss hadn't been fatherly. Not in the least.

"I should have done that at Christmas."

"Shilo might have exploded with joy," Olivia commented lightly, making him chuckle. The haze of warm fuzzy feelings began to clear enough for her to think again. "We should probably keep this recent development private for a little while. Just until we know where it's going. Shilo is very set on the idea of us as a couple and I don't want to get her hopes up if… Well, if we aren't…"

"I understand what you're saying," Nathan assured her. "And I agree. We should keep this quiet for the time being." His eyes went to her mouth and it was with visible reluctance that he loosened his grip. "I suppose you should be getting home."

"It's not home," she corrected. He lifted a brow at her vehemence.

"Oh?"

"No. It's just a place I go when there's nowhere else." Olivia cleared her throat, a little embarrassed by that confession. One kiss and she was already trying to show him her heart. She needed to get out of here. "I'll be around next Wednesday." She began to move down the stairs but then she turned around. "There was something I wanted to see about but I forgot." He opened his mouth, probably to ask what she meant, but he was cut off when she threw herself back into his arms. Nathan buckled momentarily under the weight of her. Still, she trusted him to hold her as she took another deep taste from his mouth and slid her fingers deep into his hair. It was as she had suspected. His hair was delightfully soft. Olivia released him and he stumbled a little, clearly in shock albeit a pleasant kind of shock. "Thanks for that. I'll see you next week." She hopped down the stairs, picked up her coat and cheerfully glided out the door.

Olivia had no idea where all this was heading. For all she knew her relationship with Nathan would crash and burn. However, in that instant, she was happier than she had been in a very long time.


End file.
